16 February 2007

Current Mood: Vulnerable

Have you ever seen those blog buttons that some people put up that express the "current mood" of the blogger? I've always thought those were interesting. In the vast forms of awkward communication available on the internet, body language, facial expression and tone of voice cannot play into how the message is being transmitted or received. Sometimes these little buttons help you with depth-perception, and understanding of the written word. If I had one of those cute little stamps right now, it would be say that my current mood is "vulnerable". It seems that situations happen in clusters that make me feel insecure, and I can be overwhelmed by this sense of worthlessness.
Several specific things have happened that I can pinpoint:
  • Someone I love is playing games with me - not returning my calls, etc. (this is a cyclical situation with this person)
  • At work, a group email goes around - and as soon as I give input it goes silent
  • Not finding a niche where I fit in at a new church, or making any personal friends
I know that I am particularly prone to these feelings. A few years ago I did a Bible study called "Loving God With All Your Mind" by Phyllis George and it helped me to understand that women in general are prone to these kinds of feelings. And I am thankful that I can apply truth to my feelings - and don't have to be overcome by them.
One of my most mature Christian friends, and someone who helped me learn to walk with Christ helped me understand years ago that there is this battle constantly raging in our minds. It helps to know you're not alone. Perhaps that is the very best motivation for sharing a post such as this!


  1. All those things you mentioned are other people's problems, not yours, except for the last, which is not true because you have tons of personal friends, they just happen to live far away from you. And my button would say "oblivious".
    Are you being ignored at work because of your blogging prefrences?

  2. Just wanted to clarify - I am fine. Posting this helped me identify and clarify my feelings - and just writing it down helped me.
    No blogging issues at work! Just feel sometimes like I'm not part of the "in-crowd".


Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥