30 November 2008

The Short Straw on Black Friday

My friend Joanne posted a link to this article on Facebook and I was shocked. Evidently there is just enough naievety to think that people are basically good and that we do care about our fellow human beings. Stupid girl.
I just hate living in a world like this. I am the person who lets that car out in traffic, lets the person with only a few things ahead of me in a shopping line, holds the door, gives up the seat. I have had other people model some of these polite, sacrificial behaviors and been the benefactor of much courteous treatment in my life, but I have also been pushed and shoved, although nothing quite like this.
I have never been out for the "Black Friday" madness short of going to the fabric store with my neighbor last year. It was pretty mundane - the doors were open when we got there. Although it was crowded and people were struggling to share the space with one another, there wasn't anything terrible to report. I do not understand this frenzy to save a few bucks. I do not understand how that can take precedent over the fact that other living and breathing human beings may be getting injured in the frey.
I worked at Walmart on Black Friday - but not until evening. It was pretty calm. All the die-hard shoppers who slept in their cars overnight, in some places for several nights were long gone by the time I got there. But when I read this article I remembered a conversation I overheard in the breakroom where several people were discussing who would unlock the doors on Black Friday. I wonder if Mr. Jdimytai Damour, the man who was trampled drew the short straw in his store. What a horrible mar on what is supposed to be the season of giving.

26 November 2008

No Cancer for Me!

I wasn't able to post about this until this minute - just getting home from my shift at Walmart that ended at midnight. I did take a minute to put my PJs on and make Travis' lunch first. We disconnected the internet services we had on our phones - so I wasn't able to post it via my mobile. Drumroll please.......
NO CANCER - or displaysia (precancerous cells)!
The most we are dealing with are some polyps and some peri-menopausal hormone issues! I can't even believe it. All my symptoms said otherwise. I have spent hours preparing myself to handle hearing the bad news. What facial expression would I have? Would I cry? How would I tell others?
This afternoon I took the kids roller skating with our friends that we usually do science with, and while we were there I got a phone call from my doctor's office to "reschedule" my 2 week follow-up appointment. I nearly fainted. I said they could reschedule, but there was no way I was waiting another possible week for my test results. A short time later the nurse was giving me this good news.
I still have the same symptoms, but there are some other treatments we will try. The best and most amazing news is that it isn't cancer.
I praise God, with this disclaimer - God's goodness is not based on my circumstances. I tend to view Him in light of them, but it is flawed. He would be just as good had this news been bad. But I am so very thankful........ thank you Lord.

25 November 2008

Tomorrow's the Day

Tomorrow is my 2 week, post D&C check-up. I will also get the test results of the biopsy - and although I am trying not to, I feel like I'm holding my breath a bit. I know that whatever the outcome, I am in the hands of a loving Father, who already knows how this will play out. My head knows this - but my diaphragm that compels me to breathe in and out evidently did not get the memo. I am taking Kaitlyn with me - my calm center - the middle child. I am not taking her in to talk to the doctor with me, but after the appointment she and I are going to go shopping for some lights for our Christmas tree, and maybe get some lunch.
I am just waiting.
I am not good at that.
My friend Dwayne preached another sermon yesterday that really spoke to my heart about persevering through these difficult times. We chatted this morning about how perseverance is an on-the-job training kind of thing. You get thrust into a difficult situation that you have to persevere through - you don't necessarily get to practice it. I am going to share the link to his blog so you can watch it if you'd like. I love his heart - I know the big lug and what a hard year he has had, the most difficult of which was surely losing his mom. This was a sermon forged in the fire of a very painful year. Be sure to listen to the end - there's a great video clip illustration of perseverance.

24 November 2008

Blast From the Past - We are the World

I pulled up this oldie on YouTube today and shared it with my kids - and thought my bloggy regulars might appreciate it. I didn't have MTV or cable in the 80s - so I only ever saw this a few times when it aired on TV. It was cool to watch it again.

Do you remember USA for Africa?

(United Support of Artists for Africa), was the name under which forty-five predominantly U.S. artists, led by Harry Belafonte, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, and Lionel Richie, recorded the hit single "We Are the World" in 1985. The song was a US and UK Number One for the collective in April of that year.

The considerable profits from the enterprise went to the USA for Africa Foundation, which used them for the relief of famine and disease in Africa and specifically to 1984–1985 famine in Ethiopia

And you can also catch Do They Know It's Christmas if you're in the mood for some reminiscing.

20 November 2008

Where the Heart Is

Recently I watched this movie with my girls. It was cute and sappy and wonderful all rolled into one. Remember, the one about the girl whose boyfriend abandoned her at a Walmart, where she took up residence and gave birth to her baby before anyone suspected a thing?
I don't know how that actually segued into my life - but this week it did. Financial matters dictate that I have at least a small income, so I put in an application at Walmart last Saturday. I got a call on Monday asking me to come in for an interview on Tuesday. I started taking some computer based training yesterday and began working a cash register this morning.
I enjoyed several things about it - since I like people, it was nice to interact with such a wide scale of people in such a condensed amount of time. You realize that everybody runs through there from time to time from the guy hacking up a lung (yes, I am seriously washing my hands every chance I get), to the lady that is pregnant exits the line abruptly because she forgot ice cream (I understand the urgency), to the two year old who drops something and blows me a kiss when I pick it up for her, and the older gentleman and his wife who so happily engage in conversation and are so kind that I want to follow them home and ask them to adopt me!
I am very tired, but you can do anything for a time, right? And it is not without it's blessings. A paycheck being one of them. At least people aren't pulling the rug out from under me in Jesus' name anymore. I would much rather people blaspheme the name of Sam Walton.

19 November 2008

Our New Favorite Thing on the Internet - Pandora

I have been so excited about this, but haven't found a minute to blog about it. I looked on youtube for a video because I believe it will do a much better job explaining it than I will. Pandora.com is internet radio that you can customize. It will learn your preferences and continue to find songs to your liking as you tell it what you like and don't like. All the members of my family have gone crazy over it - and our main problem is arguing over whose stations to play. There is a completely free version - and in my opinion this is better than satellite radio because it learns your personal preferences, and free. Music lovers have got to check this out. My online friend Sheryl who introduced us to the joy that is Pandora, set up a little Christmas station - Christmas in Killarney with a lot of old Christmas classics that I am loving. I also love Composers on Broadway, Broadway Radio, etc. I have learned that I love Daughtry. I have only begun to scratch the surface. If you join, be sure to make me your friend so I can peruse your favorites - Julie Forsythe (Harpers Ferry, WV - which technically is my hometown).

18 November 2008

The Pregnant Man

Evidently the whole world knew about this "pregnant man" but me. I watched the Barbara Walters special this weekend about "What Makes a Man, What Makes a Woman" and it was intriguing. With the prospect of a potential hysterectomy, it is important to me to think that my uterus does not define me as a woman.
In a conversation I've been having with some unschoolers online, we have decided that it isn't the organs or externals that make one male or female so much as DNA. You either have male or female chromosomes - however, it appears that these can be overridden by hormones, so that leaves the question - are we really that different as men and women. I think that God made us unique in gender - but not as polar opposite as we may like to think.
I know a lot of people want to make this person, Thomas Beatie - be they male or female out to be a freak show. I don't think that - I am just fascinated. I want to know how what does make us male and female. If I no longer have a uterus, am I less of a woman? I know women who've had mastectomies and do not consider them any less female.
One thing that really stood out to me was that Thomas was happy - a joyful person, content to be so very different than what we consider normal. I know a lot of people trying to pretend to be something they are not who are so miserable, and all I can feel in my heart of hearts is - good for you, good for you Thomas.
That said, I am not without awkwardness or prejudice about the subject. I feel that Thomas has not made a choice - and is in essence refusing to choose one gender or the other, preferring to have the best of both worlds. But as my husband eloquently said, "What's it to you?" (The caveman can be pretty profound sometimes!)
The rest of my thoughts on the subject are still in process.

Happy Birthday Laura and Run Rob Run!!!

When the kids and I evacuated for the hurricane to my dad's house in North Carolina, we got to spend a lot of time with my family. It was really pretty terrific. One of the best things that happened when we were there was that I got to really connect with my sister, Laurie. She prefers to go by Laura now, but she will always be Laurie to me. She is the single mom of two high spirited kids, full time manager at the department of motor vehicles, sometimes works a second job in order to make ends meet, cheerleading coach, etc. etc. If you wonder why we've had a hard time connecting before now - it's because she is so dang busy! I was almost 10 years old when Laurie was born. Our dad and my mom were divorced, so I didn't always live with them. I remember thinking she was a little doll when she was small. Our lives did not always allow us the time to develop our relationship as sisters, but for me this time when we visited for the almost month that we were gone, it really clicked. I realized we have more in common that not, and that she is somebody that would be one of my dearest friends and companions if we lived closer to one another. My kids are just crazy about her. She is a pretty amazing person - and today is her 29th birthday! Happy Birthday Laurie. I am still hoping we can do something spectacular together next year when we turn 30 and 40! I love you!

Not to be outdone by our sister's birthday, my brother Rob sent us stats on the 10K marathon that he ran this weekend. You can read them here under Rob Main, or #563 on the list. I am so proud of him. Mostly because I remember when he was younger having orthopedic doctors advising my parents that in order to have legs that worked properly - his legs flexed his feet outward sort of like a duck - he would have to have them intentionally broken. They never had that surgery done, thankfully, but he had to wear painful "corrective" shoes for years. For him to be a runner now and to run this marathon is quite an accomplishment. Awesome.

17 November 2008

A Devastating Loss

The day after surgery, I was moving carefully around my kitchen trying to get some things together to throw in the crock-pot for dinner. One of the kids was helping me. I was in a less than pleasant mood trying to get things done so I could go lay back down. I was barking orders left and right so rapidly that my helper was struggling to keep up, not that the helper copped an attitude or anything. (Who would blame her?) The crock was sat on the edge of the island precariously and all of a sudden a loud CRASH! It fell. The crock pot which provided so many lovely meals for our family is gone forever! I was surprised that it did not break the tile when it hit so hard. It was quite a mess of broken glass and ceramic pieces to clean up. I was in the market for a new one anyway - but at $30-40 that will have to wait. Finances are so tight. It is going to be hard to cook without it. Somehow, we'll survive.

14 November 2008

My Mountain Mama - Part 1

I was feeling a bit homesick today and inspired to write, so I decided to put down some thoughts about my beautiful home state of West Virginia. This time of the year is especially hard not to be there. It is very much a work in progress, so please be gentle in your critique.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw her. Her arms outstretched across the horizon. The sun rose from behind her as if she had held back the night with the strength of her own might. My mountain mama was waking. She turned from a mourning gray to a burst of color, the sun revealing what the lazy morning fog tried to hide as it drowsily beckoned its inhabitants back into warm beds under down comforters as fires burned in their hearths.

The large windows in the upstairs classroom provided an excellent view of her beauty. The change was symbolic of the change that was happening to me, bursting from the gray of mourning into the spectacular color of a full and vibrant life. A confidant woman was emerging from the scared and confused girl, the peaks and valleys carving their indelible mark on my soul.

One can feel God and hear Him most clearly on this mountain and in the river that runs at her feet. I imagine them joyful lovers, His finger carving out the curves and painting the colors, making her as He chooses for Himself. A spirit is full just to be there with them, together.

Some may say that these are not mountains, and it makes little difference to me. I know the familiar fluttering in my stomach as I traverse the ribbon roads cut through her trees, letting me know that I belong here. I could travel the world and come to the conclusion that all art pales in comparison to the Creator’s fall canvas on the lofts of this mountain and the way He manages to dazzle spectators anew with each coming year.

I have two other displaced West Virginian blogger friends who are trying to make their homes elsewhere, and this is for them A. and Tina.

Grocery Cart Challenge Recipe Swap - Kielbasa and Cabbage

I have wanted to participate in the Grocery Cart Challenge's Recipe Swap since it started - but for one reason or another, I have not gotten to just yet. I can always use new recipes, especially ones that are frugal. So without any further adieu, here is my first entry.
Kielbasa and Cabbage
1-2 kielbasas or smoked sausages cut in 1" pieces
this depends on how many people you're feeding
1 medium onion, chopped
1/2 - 1 head of cabbage, cut in hunks
garlic (optional)
In a large skillet, saute onions and garlic in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil for a couple of minutes until onions are translucent. Add sausage pieces and cook until browned. Once the sausage is browned, add cabbage and stir through. Turn temperature down to simmer, and cover with a lid for 5-7 minutes until cabbage has reached desired consistency. (I like my cabbage to have some texture and not slimy.)

For more recipes, check out this week's recipe swap.

10 November 2008

Dates with Daughters and Movie Reviews

Two weeks ago, Kaitlyn and I went to see The Secret Life of Bees. I had read the book of the same name by Sue Monk Kidd last summer and just loved it. The movie did not disappoint. The characters were amazing - Queen Latifah being my favorite. It was very well done and much as you picture it in your mind as you read. I love it when movie makers do that right.
The movie is about a girl named Lily whose mother died when she was younger putting up with an abusive, neglectful, angry father during the time when our country was still in the throes of some serious growing pains over racial inequality. Lily runs off with Rosaleen, a black woman who takes care of her one day and they meet the Boatwright women. The intersection of these lives forever changes them all.
Last week, after hours of testing at the hospital, Kendra and I decided to go see a movie. I had seen The Secret Life of Bees, but she hadn't - so I was going to see it again. Once we got to the movie theater, we saw that Changeling was playing, and asked to change our tickets. It was a very sad movie about a single mother living in Los Angeles in 1928 whose son goes missing one day while she is at work. The LAPD has a poor reputation with the public and uses her tragedy as a way to gain some public favor by trying to replace her son with another boy. The most appalling part of all is that it was based on a true story.
The kids and I all saw Madagascar 2 this past Friday at the cheap theater. Enough said.
We are movie-lovers, but you win some and you lose some!
Sorry for the really horrific writing here - my mind is elsewhere this morning. Writing about whatever to keep it busy!

08 November 2008

Uterine Cancer Awareness

I put up a new banner on my right sidebar about Uterine Cancer Awareness. I was shocked to find that I have so many of these symptoms that I was dismissing as just something I had to live with as a woman. Please pay attention if you have these symptoms. Gentlemen, feel free to look away if you cannot handle the personal nature of what I might share here - or feel free to read if you think it may help you encourage someone that you love to get a check up.
Uterine cancer, also known as Endometrial Cancer (the endometrium being the lining of the uterus) can be indicated by one or all of these symptoms:
1. Abnormal bleeding - this means any bleeding that is not associated with your normal menstrual cycle
2. Vaginal discharge
3. Vaginal discharge with mucus and blood for post-menopausal women
4. Difficult or painful urination
5. Pain during intercourse
6. Pelvic pain
This cancer is a killer. I am holding my breath to find out if indeed the five out of six symptoms that I am exhibiting are indicators. Please pay attention and have any of these symptoms checked out. Mine have gone on for at least four years, and it is terrifying to think of the time that I let lapse thinking that I had a strange reproductive system that has never quite worked right and dismissed these symptoms as one after the other has become a fact of life for me.
Just wanted to share the awareness. Don't ignore the symptoms like I did because I didn't know better.

06 November 2008

No Super Christian Here

I would love to say that I am "super-Christian" and that I have totally handed my medical issues, procedures, etc. over to the Lord in some super-spiritual wording to help you understand how I have transcended my flesh and entered into a pseudo-euphoric state of worrylessness. What I am going to tell you is the truth - I have been scared to death. I caught myself a couple of days ago spastically sucking in air the way you do reflexively when you're a child and you cry so hard that you don't get enough air to prevent yourself from passing out.
I did realize that one of my biggest fears was being put under. I have never been put under myself, but I did accompany Kendra to one of her several surgeries when she was small. She was about 4 years old, and just after they put the bubble gum scented mask over her face, she said, "Mommy, I can't breathe!" and then she konked out. So all of this time, I thought that being put under like that made you feel like you were suffocating. Kendra reassured me today that she only said that because she did not know how else to describe what she was feeling. At any rate, I found out today that they are planning on using an IV to sedate me first and that I will be out before the mask hits my face. That was a tremendous relief.
I had the best treatment today - and I was so thankful. Every single person that I encountered when I went for pre-surgical testing - from the registrar to the lady that had to stick me 3 times to take my blood - were all so kind, and efficient and personable. This was a very different experience from the testing I had done at a different hospital where the ultrasound tech didn't speak to me at all. I'm a chatty person and quiet makes me nervous. I am not going to apologize for it anymore - it is how I am.
Having had such a good experience today made me feel a lot better about next Tuesday. I am so grateful.

Dreaming With Martin

Political ideologies aside - socialist, communist, capitalist - our country made history two days ago. Yesterday morning it really started to dawn on me what had taken place when I saw a picture of Barack Obama superimposed onto that picture with the heads of all the past presidents - twelve of whom had been slave owners - how far we had come and what history had been made.
Throughout this whole process prejudices and ignorance abounded. I am so sick of this little "secret" between some white people that leans in a whispers some racist remark, with a wink of understanding. NO I do not know what you mean. NO I do not get what you're saying. Lord help me always as Mr. King so eloquently said it, judge others not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
Watching the View yesterday morning and listening to Whoopi Goldberg talk about this sense of finally being able to "put her suitcase down", I was awestruck, and pained. Sherri Shepherd was so choked up that she could hardly talk telling about tucking her son in bed that night knowing that he COULD do anything, and that the color of his skin would not be a hindrance. This election has opened up that door. I found myself for the first time wishing that I was black just so I could share more intimately in this victory. It gave me chills. When Barbara Walters played the clip of Mr. King's I Have a Dream.... speech and told how it brought her to tears, I was choking up too.
This is HUGE. I am proud of America for this, that almost 50 years later we have seen a small glimpse of Mr. King's dream coming true. I'm dreaming with you sir. I'm still dreaming with you.
Kudos to my very talented writer daughter Kendra who has expressed some of the exact same thoughts on her own blog.

For the record, I am pro-life, believe strongly in our right to bear arms, don't want to spread the wealth, etc. But what's done is done. We have a fine system of checks and balances that prevent one man from having absolute power. I can be happy that I live in a country where the ghosts and demons of the past prejudices may be finally losing their power to haunt us. Amen!

04 November 2008

Ohhhhhhhhh-bama! Unschooling the Election

I mentioned in my earlier post that we got together and "studied" the election process today with some friends. It was pretty fun, and the kids participated to their interest level. I saw a spark really ignite in Kaitlyn - our resident Obama supporter. She was pretty interested in the electoral college and how it worked. Not understanding it fully myself - Kaitlyn and I both spent some time Googling different things to come to a better understanding. Tonight she looked up the electoral votes of each state and went looking for a printed map in our cabinet of schoolish-stuff. The only thing we could find was this huge US floor puzzle. The permission was granted to write on it with a permanent marker, and it became a tracking device as we watched the election coverage. Kaitlyn and Kullen used some white stickers in the cabinet and colored them red and blue and once a state was "called" for a certain candidate/party, they would place the appropriate colored sticker. I love to see learning become real because it has applicability, relevance. This was one of the best things I've seen my kids do - self-initiated in a while, but they learned so much more than when I purpose to "show" them or "teach" them something. Kaitlyn understands the election process more than she did yesterday and is interested enough to continue studying it. You can't beat that with a stick. Oh yeah - and her man was elected as if that isn't the icing on the cake!
Congratulations President Elect Obama. We'll see where the next four years take us.

THIS is an Outrage!!!!

We had a great day at my friend Shannon's house. A couple of us have been getting our kids together for some science experiments - but today we decided to put that on hold and study the election process. It was pretty interesting - and I know that Kaitlyn in particular was really taking it all in. BUT, this afternoon on our way home, Kendra got a text message from a friend that said,
Obama is in the lead for now, but that will change once white people get off of work.
I made her read it to me again - and then I asked her to let me read it for myself - as if I could not process the information. (I have to tell you I hate even having this written on my blog - but feel it is necessary for you to understand my outrage!) What was it implying - that black people don't work? It is just this same kind of thing that continues to drive a wedge between people, and I am sick to the full of Christians perpetuating this bullsh*t. The worst part of this was that this same friend sent a text message this morning reminding all her friends to pray that God's will would be done. Do these two messages imply that God's will would be for a white Republican man to win this election? Does God do our bidding? How arrogant to assume that God would not, could not and will not use whomever the American people put into office for His purposes, regardless of race or gender. If we wake up in the morning and Barak Obama is our president elect, are there those who will believe God has abandoned America?
I have just been so so so angry about this - fuming for the last few hours. It reminded me of this quote Kaitlyn pointed out:
I imagine that God is weary of being called down on both sides of an argument.
-Inman, Cold Mountain
I imagine so.
I stated here very clearly who got my vote here this morning - but let me be very clear that my vote had nothing to do with race or gender. My mantra will always be red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His site......

The VOTE: Just Do It!

I think with all that has happened this election year, it is exciting to think that within the next 24 hours we will finally have a new president elect. Either outcome will make history with either an African American holding the office of President or a woman in the role of Vice President. I am not sure what that outcome will be, and everything that I listen to or read looks as if it could go either way.
I have only recently decided where to place my own vote, and can say honestly that this is the first time I have ever considered voting against my conservative leanings. In the end I decided that socialism was too much of a risk to take, and am voting accordingly. Here is a quote from something that I wrote in an online political discussion that sums up my thoughts:
I have tried asking myself what Jesus would do – and I am reminded how he did not want a political standing – he wanted the hearts of people. I will vote my conscience – but I will also respect either outcome and remember that my Papa is still far more than capable of taking care of us whatever may come. I will know that He is in control. To me the absolute worst thing would be for people that are loved by Him to lose sight of the humanity of one another and start – as I have heard rumored- rioting and looting, escalated racial tensions, etc. – because these things will break HIS heart.

John McCain has my vote but Jesus Christ has my heart!

PS - You can vote however you like. I refer you to the previous post!

01 November 2008

You Can Vote However You Like

I saw this video on my friend Wendy's blog and I thought it was superb! The truth of the matter is that when this election is over - we will be a country divided. We have to all remember that we still have to be neighbors and friends. The message here is, you can vote however you like... and we can still be friends. I loved it!

Here are the lyrics that were written by the students performing the song - I love their attitude:
Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain is the man
Fought for us in Vietnam
You know if anyone can
Help our country he can
Taxes droppin low
Dont you know oils gonna flow
Drill it low
I’ll show our economy will grow
McCain’s the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They’ll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama’s new, he’s younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He’ll bring a change, he’s got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq’s a shame
Four more years would be insane

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won’t
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won’t!
Have enough experience - you know that they don’t
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won’t

I want Obama
Stick with McCain and you’re going to have some drama
We need it
He’ll be it
We’ll do it
Let’s move it

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

I’m talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice

But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay

I want Obama
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
Iran he will attack
We gotta vote Barack!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Everybody has a bad day from time to time, but yesterday for me was one of the worst I have had in a long time. It started out first thing in the morning with a problem between Travis and I and never recovered. I did manage to assemble the last pieces for Kullen's Halloween costume and grab just enough things through the fog that was my mind from the grocery store so that my family wouldn't starve to death. I didn't even remember to buy any Halloween candy to hand out, which is just as well since we weren't home for trick-or-treaters anyway. Everywhere I looked people were dressed up - and I was SO not in the mood to appreciate or enjoy them or Halloween. I know a lot of it is probably my hormones - but I felt like I was on a fast train to the town Crazy yesterday!
The best part of the day was the 20 minutes in which I made myself take a nap - but sadly I woke up in the same strange state of mind.
Travis and I went together to take the kids to a Halloween party and for trick-or-treating with friends and then we went out to dinner. I ordered one of my new favorites, a "Monte Cristo" sandwich and Travis ordered his standard chicken friend steak with American cheese under the gravy. I took the first bite of my sandwich and got a mouth of hot liquefied GREASE. It was so disgusting. I took another bite on a different part of the sandwich thinking it may have been just the end. Nope. The whole thing was like a big grease saturated sponge. Nasty. It ruined.my.appetite. This is nearly impossible to do. They offered to make me another one but I knew I couldn't possibly eat it. I am not one of those who casually sends my food back - but this was completely unpalatable. Travis food was pretty greasy too. I've never seen him not clean his plate, but we brought a HUGE portion of his food back for the dog.
The kids had a great time at their party and trick-or-treating, although Kullen cut out early and went back to his friend's house and when he got home I discovered he had a fever. Poor guy.
It was a day I was glad to see come to an end. I am going to spend today trying to look for the little things in my life that make me happy - a bowl of fruit loops, the cat sleeping in the sun, and the pictures of my kids in their Halloween costumes. (Kendra = Hermione Granger, Kaitlyn = Chuck from Pushing Daisies and Kullen was originally Peter Parker but turned something else because he liked the hat so much!) I'm going to try to remember what it was like being a child and the sugar hangover the day after Halloween, the joys of sorting candy and negotiating some difficult trades with my brother. I am going to try to take a walk around the neighborhood and breathe in deeply. I'm going to drink more coffee than I should just because I want to, and spend some time with my family. I am going to remember that my Papa loves me. Focusing on these things may have the power to conquer the worst day.