Let Go of the Cheese

Life has been pretty crazy around here lately. The return to work full-time after being a homeschool mom for so many years, but always working part-time doing something from home to help make ends meet - has been a transition for sure. My job at Walmart prepared me for the first step out of the house, like a boot camp of sorts without the full time hours.
I have to say that I.love.my.job. Seriously. I actually get up in the morning looking forward to going to work. I feel productive, purposeful, accomplished. I work in an environment that supports me in my efforts to keep my kids at home - and recognizes this as my choice as a parent. I get to talk to other homeschooling parents and support them in their choices, and offer some tangible help. My co-workers are some of the most amazing people with a wide variety of personalities. They each make the day better in their own unique ways. We also have opportunities twice a week to pray together. I couldn't ask for a better place to work.
This transition in our lives has led to a lot of changes. The kids are taking on a lot of the household responsibilities, including the cooking. I love to cook. It has been hard for me to let go of this, but it has been really nice to see what the kids can do. I can put a meal in the crock pot in the mornings, but I only do that occasionally.
These life changes have dictated a lot of standard reconciliation. I have had to reevaluate what meant the most to me, what I actually had control of, and what I did and did not have the time to do. One of the things I noticed recently that had changed in our lives was cheese. About ten years ago, during the Pampered Chef era in my life, I stopped buying shredded cheese because it was covered in cellulose - a flour like substance that kept it from sticking together. Freshly shredded cheese is also more flavorful. It is just one of the things I had to let go of - and it indicates to me a healthy response to all of the changes I have encountered. Most of them go way deeper than cheese. I had all these plans and dreams for my life, that haven't necessarily died but taken on a different shape. I have learned to let go of the cheese.

The Job

I got it!!!!
The one where I wore my underwear upside down to the interview. Yes, I did. It is a fantastic job that is not too far from home. The pay is great, the benefits are great, it is homeschooling friendly. When I say great benefits I mean you get 13 paid holidays, 2 weeks paid vacation every year, health coverage including dental and vision, paid sick leave, paid doctor's visits, and you even get your birthday off and paid. The job is also at a very lovely college campus and I will be working with some really awesome people that I can't wait to get to know better.
I am so thankful as I see doors open and God's provision for me and the kids. It overwhelms me to see His concern for all the littlest details.

On another note, I am going to be putting in my two weeks notice at Walmart very soon. I don't start the new job until May 18th, but I am trying to plan a week off to do a few things with the kids before I am working full-time. I would like to leave on good terms so that I can possibly pick up some part-time work for the holidays, or if anything should ever happen in the future where I needed employment. However, although I have enjoyed my time as a cashier for various reasons, some hard realities have become apparent.
Nobody working at Walmart makes enough to live on. This is called a "living wage". Over the last several months I have worked alongside attorneys and realtors and other professionals and educated people who are there because there is not enough to keep them working. It is a huge blow to get that first paycheck. When you realize how hard you are working - on your feet for 8 hours a day doing often back-breaking labor and still not taking home enough money to meet your basic needs, it is hard.
I think it is time with all the economic change going on in our country to get a grip and realize that minimum wage may be suitable for teenagers who are living at home with their parents, but it is in no way a fair wage for an employer to pay people who are trying to support families. Walmart pays more than minimum wage, and it still is not enough. They also keep most of their employees at part-time status and work them at 33-34 hours and don't have to give them any benefits.
In the hiring process, Walmart asks whether or not you are on public assistance. Is that the plan? Does this huge corporation think that their employees, though they work hard, must provide for their family straddling the line of their wages and qualifications for welfare? It is terrific if they are providing jobs for people so that they can get off of welfare, but why should a person that works need to be on the dole?
These are just some frustrated and discouraged thoughts. I am hopeful because I have a better job waiting for me in a month, but I am sad for all the people who I leave behind who have no prospects for a better situation.

Blog Privacy and an Update

My blog is going underground for a while. I would love to share it with people who make it known that they want to read it - so if you are interested in being listed as an approved reader, please send me your email address at julsnwv AT gmail DOT com to be added to the list. Thanks for understanding for now.
I started a new job at Walmart today and have some promising prospects for an even better administrative assistant position with a reputable organization that is extremely homeschool friendly. Please pray that I would have favor here. The position is right up my alley, and has "generous benefits". The kids and I have also found a house to rent from a family we used to go to church with years ago. The rent is perfect, as is the location. A house in my Blue Ridge Moutains. My favorite part.... a washer and dryer! Ha.
Life goes on. I realized today for the first time in many weeks that I felt "happy". Even though we aren't moved in or settled anywhere yet, I feel like life is finally going in a positive direction. I am so utterly thankful. I feel sad for Travis and we still have a lot of conflict to iron out. I don't know what will become of it. I am trying to let my behavior honor the person that I want to be and my Papa. It is a work in progress.
(If you read this blog as a "note" on Facebook, I don't think that anything will change! We'll have to see.)

Where the Heart Is

Recently I watched this movie with my girls. It was cute and sappy and wonderful all rolled into one. Remember, the one about the girl whose boyfriend abandoned her at a Walmart, where she took up residence and gave birth to her baby before anyone suspected a thing?
I don't know how that actually segued into my life - but this week it did. Financial matters dictate that I have at least a small income, so I put in an application at Walmart last Saturday. I got a call on Monday asking me to come in for an interview on Tuesday. I started taking some computer based training yesterday and began working a cash register this morning.
I enjoyed several things about it - since I like people, it was nice to interact with such a wide scale of people in such a condensed amount of time. You realize that everybody runs through there from time to time from the guy hacking up a lung (yes, I am seriously washing my hands every chance I get), to the lady that is pregnant exits the line abruptly because she forgot ice cream (I understand the urgency), to the two year old who drops something and blows me a kiss when I pick it up for her, and the older gentleman and his wife who so happily engage in conversation and are so kind that I want to follow them home and ask them to adopt me!
I am very tired, but you can do anything for a time, right? And it is not without it's blessings. A paycheck being one of them. At least people aren't pulling the rug out from under me in Jesus' name anymore. I would much rather people blaspheme the name of Sam Walton.

FREE Falling

FREE being the operative word. I just quit my job! I am a bit freaked out and exhilarated about the opportunity for change. I don't know whether to shout for joy or curl up into a ball! Whatever happens - I know Who holds my future in His hands!

Update

Travis went back to work last Thursday so he was off one whole week. Trying to make up a week of income is not easy. Thankfully I pulled in some extra money this month.
Our internet connection has been horrible. I am going to have to bite the bullet and spend the 2 hours on the phone with tech support to resolve this later today.
Kaitlyn is going in this morning to have the same surgery on her that she had in March on the big toe on her other foot. She is not too happy about it.
Tomorrow is Kaitlyn's 15th birthday. It is all about the food - a gooey chocolate cake and lasagna are her requests, so I will be spending a large part of my day tomorrow in the kitchen.
More interesting blogging later - I assure you.

LOST in a Whirlwind

My husband called and woke me up this morning on his way to work and informed me that there was a severe thunderstorm anticipated - where two storms were converging one from the north (the cooler air) and one from the south (the warmer air). He also added - before my first cup of coffee - that this was tornado weather. He's real thoughtful that way.
All I know about tornadoes is that supposedly the atmosphere gets a greenish tinge right before a tornado strikes. Everytime I look out the window, all I can see is......you guessed it - GREEN! You'd think I was in Ireland! So I'm trying not to worry about it - ha!
In other news - not the whirlwind that is the tornado, but the whirlwind that is my life, I saw an ad in the newspaper yesterday for a graphic designer for the local paper - and I emailed them that I wasn't interested in full-time work - which is what they were advertising - but if they needed someone who was proficient in Adobe Photoshop CS3 and the Microsoft Office programs, I would be interested in talking to them about some freelance work. They want to interview me right away. Aaaahhhck! It is a good thing - I called my mother-in-law to be sure and she said yes, this was good. We'll see. I expected immediate rejection since I stated clearly that I was unavailable for full-time work. Who knows what will come of this. I would be totally excited to work for a newspaper - although still not writing - which is my true love. But a foot in the door is a foot in the door.
Also, I may be missing the season premiere of LOST - as my gorgeous daughter has invited me to be her guest at the "mock opening" of the restaurant where she will be working. The day shift is serving the night shift at 6:30 and the night shift is serving the day shift at 7:30. They can each bring one guest and she has asked her mommy! How could LOST be more important than being an honored guest of my most fabulous girl. (Y'all fill me in later!)

I Love Me a Working Man

The hubby got a job today! He starts tomorrow. It isn't the job we were wanting and is a cut in pay - but it is a paycheck for right now! Woo hoo! I celebrated by buying two small Christmas gifts. Today was also his birthday. I made him monkey bread for breakfast, with coffee in bed.
It's been a long day - so I apologize for this incoherent post. I just had to share the good news!

One Foot in Front of the Other

The last few days have been an endless procession of resumes, online applications, faxing of pertinent documents and driving and driving and driving from place to place to place following lead after lead after lead, and chauffeuring around an unemployed husband who also happens to be quite sick. I have recited his social security number forwards and backwards and possibly at one point while standing on my head. I have schmoozed and used every bit of my womanly charms - which if you know me means I had to borrow a little from a real woman somewhere else! We basically still know nothing - but in the midst of total exhaustion, and a ton of frenetic energy that is driving us, there have been some pretty cool moments.....

• uninterrupted conversation with my husband, including a cheap-o lunch at Taco Bell - the most fascinating part of which was learning in great detail all about different types of welding - and I'm not being sarcastic
• whistling at him as he walked across the parking lot to put in an application and watching him walk a little taller, even though he turned around and said, "yeah right!"
• filling out an application for him, and having him say "it must be hard to live with me" - and knowing that it is, but he must be worth it
• hearing him tell the man at the Veteran's branch at the employment office that I was his best asset

This morning I was in such a panic that I just wanted to give up - throw in the towel - go back to bed and pull the covers over my head - lay down and die. Throughout the day my perspective has changed as I have had a really good day with my husband. It is like the Lord has tried to stop my world from spinning, directed one foot to step out in front of the other, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out .......... even these days of turmoil are full of abundant life.

Not One Little Bit

Kendra started her first job today. I dropped her off and then headed out of town for a "mom's meeting" at co-op. I had it all planned out. I was going to pick her up and get ice cream on the way home - just the two of us so she could tell me all about her night. Then Michael's mom had his car and he would be needing a ride -and I totally did not mind that - he is so much fun. Then, the meeting went on overtime - which is totally fine because people had some serious prayer requests, etc. but at some point I had to get up to leave because there was no way I was going to be late for the pick-up after the BIG first day. I slunk out about the time someone was giving the most serious prayer request - and felt like a jerk. But motherly love compelled me to do this terribly insensitive thing. I got in the car and turned the ringer back on to my cell phone, and I saw that I had missed a call from her - so I called back. No answer. A few minutes later she calls me. She says the words I never wanted to hear - "We got off a little early and dad is here to pick us up!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOO all my hopes dashed. All the excited first utterances about the new job were going to be his. Any witty anecdotes wasted on a man who, although he loves her - will not treasure every microscopic detail. Ice cream plans vanished. She assured me that we can do whatever I had planned tomorrow. That's it folks - day 2, 2nd place, the backseat as an observer to her life. I don't like it - I don't like it not one little bit.

To Adulthood and Beyond

Do you know what it would be like to hold on to a rope dangling from a rocket? I have one child who has been ready to grow up since the day she was born. Being her parent and trying to hold her down without holding her back has been a challenge. To help her take the time and space she needed to grow up has been a source of much friction over her 16 year life, but I have insisted on a childhood for my daughter, knowing myself the damage done when this is denied. Yesterday it seems this lassoing a rocket is becoming less and less realistic - as she was hired for her first "real" job as a waitress. I am so excited for her because this is a job she has really wanted, and at the same time I hate to see my little girl grow up and enter the adult world. Paychecks, drivers licenses, a boyfriend, SATs. I miss the days of playdoh and Thumbelina, when the hurts were only as big as falling down, the challenges only as steep as learning to ride a bike, and the safest, most wonderful place in the world was on my lap. I'm not letting go of that rope just yet!

Quiet Time - Lessons from Job

I hate to admit it, but there are times when my quiet time with the Lord, reading the Word and praying in the quiet, still hours of the morning all alone before anyone wakes up are the absolute JOY of my life - and then there are other times when I struggle and strain, pulling what seems the weight of an elephant uphill against that time that so refreshes my life, if only I can let it wash over me. I am in one of the latter times right now. Mind you it is not willful disobedience, but rather a sick heart that keeps me from the only place that I know to truly make it well - what irony!
Recently I was led to the book of Job during this time between the Lord and I. I have read Job several times in the past - specifically two other times when I felt I was suffering conflict, persecution, and trial. But this time was different. I felt the Lord led me to that book because he had something very rational, very logical, very grounded in truth that He desired to show me. In the beginning Job suffers terribly - and that is previously where I had identified. But this time something altogether different came into focus as I have been reading. Job has friends - and they mean well, but everything they speak into his life only bring more discouragement, more opportunities for condemnation, and make his struggle to stand much harder than it ever needs to be. He has two choices - to give weight to the opinions, condemnations, and judgments of these friends, or stand, grounded in truth of his righteousness before the Lord. How many times in my life have I allowed the opinions, prejudices, preferences, ideals, and thoughts of others press on my life - bringing conviction that should come from the Lord alone, and by His Spirit. In this I am to blame - preferring the approval of man to simply pleasing my Lord.
I am thankful for His word and the power it has over and over to speak truth in my life. It is hurtful to realize you allowed the influence of another person to cripple you spiritually and hurt your family because you did not stand against the false accusations of others. But knowing this truth is the first step towards tremendous, liberating, exuberant, extravagant, elaborate, extraordinary, beautiful freedom in Christ! It is the strangest feeling - sorrow and anxious expectation. I will wait on the Lord.

Job Description

I recently put together a resume - and I cracked myself up when I attempted to describe my job as a homeschool mom. Notice none of the descriptions are "teacher-y". I was wondering if you could add some other funnies to this list???

Forsythe Family School 1991-present

Harpers Ferry, WV 25425

(304) 725-4045

Supervisor – Travis G. Forsythe

Duties have included all of the following (and much more) – chief cook and

bottle washer, nose wiper, cookie maker, hug giver, back massager, chore-

meister, laundress, housekeeper, hiney-swatter, improvisational comic, teen-

counselor, crisis hotline, Barbie clothes dresser, Hot Wheels wheel-fixer, finder

of all lost things, grocery shopper, bug killer, reacher of all things on a high shelf,

chauffeur, kisser of boo-boos, household manager, financial consultant, one-

“blue collar” income juggler, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.