08 February 2007
Screaming "NO" in a Whisper
So, about nine months ago we moved. We loaded up all our earthly possessions and our three favorite children and we moved across.the.country from West Virginia to Texas. In WV I wore many hats. At church I was involved in the worship team,youth ministry, food pantry,vacation bible school, adopt-a-grandparent, and anythingelsethathappenedtocomealong. In the homeschool arena I helped coordinate yearly testing, directed co-op, edited the newsletter, moderated the yahoo group, and anythingelsethatcamealong. I also am a wife, a mother to three active children, and work a part-time job from home - which all of us know there is no such thing, etc. etc. etc. The truth of the matter is the anythingelsethatcamealong and the etc. was taking over my life. I was irritable with my family for the pressure I felt to meet all of these other obligations. I never had time to rest, and my health and heart (spiritually speaking) were suffering for it. I have an opportunity now to weigh my commitments very carefully. What I struggle with is not filling a need that I see, if I am able, although maybe not especially willing to meet. I have been learning to choose what is best over what is good or acceptable. I have also learned that my "quick fix" may well get in the way of allowing the person God is truly calling to fill that need to step up. I think all too often we aren't willing to wait for this process to happen, and a lot of burned out, worn down, and ineffective people are dragging ministries, homeschool groups, bible studies, quilting bees (ok I just threw that in for good measure!) behind them. As I have been having this internal streaming dialogue with myself, our family has become more and more plugged into activities in the area where we live. I feel sorry for the poor woman who suggested to me that I jump in so that the children can have a class on Wednesday nights at church. The speed at which "NO" exited my mouth left even me speechless.