08 February 2007

Screaming "NO" in a Whisper

So, about nine months ago we moved. We loaded up all our earthly possessions and our three favorite children and we moved across.the.country from West Virginia to Texas. In WV I wore many hats. At church I was involved in the worship team,youth ministry, food pantry,vacation bible school, adopt-a-grandparent, and anythingelsethathappenedtocomealong. In the homeschool arena I helped coordinate yearly testing, directed co-op, edited the newsletter, moderated the yahoo group, and anythingelsethatcamealong. I also am a wife, a mother to three active children, and work a part-time job from home - which all of us know there is no such thing, etc. etc. etc. The truth of the matter is the anythingelsethatcamealong and the etc. was taking over my life. I was irritable with my family for the pressure I felt to meet all of these other obligations. I never had time to rest, and my health and heart (spiritually speaking) were suffering for it. I have an opportunity now to weigh my commitments very carefully. What I struggle with is not filling a need that I see, if I am able, although maybe not especially willing to meet. I have been learning to choose what is best over what is good or acceptable. I have also learned that my "quick fix" may well get in the way of allowing the person God is truly calling to fill that need to step up. I think all too often we aren't willing to wait for this process to happen, and a lot of burned out, worn down, and ineffective people are dragging ministries, homeschool groups, bible studies, quilting bees (ok I just threw that in for good measure!) behind them. As I have been having this internal streaming dialogue with myself, our family has become more and more plugged into activities in the area where we live. I feel sorry for the poor woman who suggested to me that I jump in so that the children can have a class on Wednesday nights at church. The speed at which "NO" exited my mouth left even me speechless.


  1. Good for you!! My husband has a VERY hard time saying "no". Sometimes people bring things up to me and I just flat out say, He is really busy, he will say yes, but I'm asking you to please not ask him. So your schedule not only is affecting you, but it affects your family as well.

    You do need time to be in the learning spot every now and then. Listen to what God is telling you.

    He chose you before you were born. Before you messed up really bad and also before you volunteered for everything and before your greatest success. He chose you. It is good to get involved, but not to the extent that it is hurting you or a family member.

    I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. Take it easy. ~Chelle

  2. Chelle - I hope you see this - I have SO enjoyed your visits to my blog! Thanks for the encouragement! Isn't that how sisters in Christ should be - cheering one another on towards the finish line. Anyway - when I click on your name to go to YOUR blog - I cannot - it tells me your profile is private! So this is my only way to reply to your comments. Anyway - thanks!

  3. It is wonderful to start over and to fill up your life with just the things you know God wants you to. I'm often thankful to those who made me "re-set" my life as well.
    You're the coolest Julie!

  4. Hey Julie,
    I am sooo Pruod of you . It has been soo hard as well for me to say "no" in the past, however, I am learning to that the Lord doesn't want our hands in everything. It is sooo nice to be home and loving my God, then my husband and then my children and then and everyone else next, and NOT having to rush out the door FIRST!!

    Love you,


Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥