Without trying to make myself sound like some sort of martyred super-hero who only does things for the greater good, I wanted to explain something that I was able to articulate earlier today in an email to a friend. I have often thought this, but it has become crystal clear in the light of my present circumstances. So often we do one another a disservice by drawing a veil over a part of our lives that is hard, difficult, ugly, disturbing, dark, morbid, weak. In so doing, we have become salesmen for Jesus. We wear the squeaky clean suit, folded hankie in our pocket, sport impeccable grooming - because instead of being real with people, we want our countenance to reflect perfection. Relationships are damn hard. People are unpredictable. Our emotions fail us, and often leave us in crumbled heaps. Our humanity is frail. We do not cease to be human when we come to Him, and I do not understand the superhuman, power-suit mentality that some Christians posture in front of others. We do have a care in this world - often a lot of them. I will let you peek behind the veil of my life because I believe it is our duty to one another to say - this is hard for me too. It sucks and you are not alone.
Maybe some have found my blogging disrespectful, raw, gruesome. It is - I know because I'm not just writing it, I'm living it. Some have said it was powerful, brave. It is because they could relate. It is real, and that is all I can be, authentically me. My introverted friend said, "stop telling people stuff!". I don't think that will ever be my style, but I love her for wanting to protect me in the way that she naturally defends herself. I am not a secret keeper. The truth is that I never really had a veil at all except that which others imposed on me. I am going to walk this road through the good and bad right beside you my bloggy friends. If it helps you to be a better person, so be it. If you find it annoying, whiny or repulsive, fortunately my turn around time is pretty quick, and I should be back to blogging about good stuff in a couple of days. You might wanna check back in a few.