16 April 2008

Rejected Commenter

My friend Henry wrote a blog post not long ago about Learning to Reject and Delete. I completely understood and agreed with her line of thinking. I do not have my blog set currently to approve comments before allowing them to post on my blog which has allowed a stinging comment a time or two but that is the risk that I take.
There are some who find it their duty to correct what is in their opinion every wrong thought, opinion, perspective, etc. I often blog as I am forming a completed thought, and wish that those people would understand that I am not saying that everything I blog about is right and true and good or even Biblical. Just being a Christian does not mean that every expression I make as a human being is going to be theologically sound. I am being transformed into His image - I am not already there - and neither are you.
All of this to say, while I agree with Henry wholeheartedly, I have recently been on the other side of the reject and delete button. My comments were benign, friendly and even in support of the blogger whose blog I was commenting on, so I really have no idea why my comment was rejected. I can tell you this, if conversation is not open, I am not likely to comment again. I don't have the time. If I had said something controversial or harsh, I would expect such treatment.
Just as Henry quoted we should say only that which is useful in building one another up (bang rubber mallet into own head 10 times) and get rid of bitterness, rage, anger, malice and slander, we also need to all learn to be slow to be offended. (bang rubber mallet into own head 10 more times).
So there it is - it is about relationships - they are a kind of dance. I step on your toes some and you pull back, then you step on mine. (It is a different thing when someone wears steel toed boots and it intentionally trying to flatten your whole foot, which was more Henry's experience.) But in friendship, with cyber-buddies or real life friends, we dance. Each friendship takes on a rhythm of its own. But we seem to get better at it the more we keep in step with one another, twirling to slow, quick,quick, slow, quick,quick.
I'm definitely going to lose Henry on that quick,quick part, but that's okay, I'll catch her on the next slow!


  1. Hi Jewls,

    I don't think I have ever had a comment rejected but I don't comment that often on other blogs. However, at the beginning of my paradigm shift I was silenced on two forums. As a result, one of the forums went to moderating every single post ... did you get that, every single post on that message board was moderated. The conversations were and are totally controlled. No dissenting voice is ever allowed.

    I agree with you ... if the conversation isn't going to be open, I just won't participate. I want to maintain a tension of listening to all perspectives.

    I haven't really had any problems with comments on my blog. The most slightly negative comments I have ever had were on about my dreads and about shaving my head because of the lice. Good grief, how many times do I have to say, "It's just hair!" But then again, it isn't just hair to me and it isn't to so many people.

    You are my true blogging friend, always faithful to comment, encourage, commiserate with me. I hope you know that if there is ever silence from my side ... it's just me being to lazy to click over here and comment.

    Grace and Peace!!


  2. You brought up some really good points. All I can think about, though is the time when I tried to push publish and accidently hit reject on someones comments. Did they get an e-mail saying I rejected them? Ouch! Now I'm all paranoid that I've caused some stranger a huge offense.

  3. I bet it wasn't on purpose. Especially since you said that your comments were in support of the blogger. Let's give the bloggy person a benefit of the doubt.

    I happen to like your rantings. And I agree, I type what I'm thinking and mostly my thoughts aren't formed...ever, so you're getting my middle of the thought...thought.

    I've only had a few comments that I WANTED to delete. Mostly I just shrug my shoulders and say, "Whatever."

  4. I've never had any really negative comments on my blog, so I don't know how I'd feel if I got any. Maybe I would want to delete it, but I probably wouldn't (people pleasing!). Gotta get over that!lol

    But I guess if you're up to blogging, you're gonna have to be up to some people disagreeing with you. It comes with the territory. Atleast it'll help one grow thick skin! We could all use more of that!

  5. I can't believe anyone would reject you...
    I don't moderate my blog either, I haven't had any bad comments though, maybe people just don't come back. Who knows many posts only get a few comments at best.
    I know that you are not offensive at all so maybe it was an accident???

    Who knows!

  6. I don't have my blog set for approval either and I plan on keeping it that way. I would almost bet that it was a mistake in having your comment deleted. I wouldn't worry especially if your comment was pleasant and agreeable.

  7. good post Julie. I sometimes worry about comments I leave as it is hard to know how someone else will perceive them- it is harder to communicate in writing in find- it can be easy for someone to misinterpret another's message. Actually, there was a time not too long ago when I commented on some of your thoughts about church- I was a bit concerned later that I expressed a differing opinion- perhaps you just wanted to express something without me giving you my perspective. Sorry if I commented out of turn!


Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥