This statement always terrifies me - I have a hard time hearing it, and an even harder time saying it. I have a lot of reasons to be completely terrified, in a blood running cold kind of way, because I lived the ups and downs of a childhood with a maniacally-depressed mother.
But I think I am battling some mild depression right now.
I am starting avoidance behaviors - I don't want to answer the phone. I am serious - it has made me shudder in the last few days when it rings. But since I know it is unhealthy, I only allow myself to reject the call for legitimate reasons, like if I'm in the middle of something.
I don't want to do anything. I can't remember the last time I really "did" my hair or put on make-up, although having always had an aversion to body odor, and poor hygiene, I have been bathing, brushing my teeth and combing my hair - but why does it seem to take so much effort?
(this is when, blessing or curse though it may be I am thankful to be working at home)
I have felt like I want to stay in bed, but haven't allowed myself that either.
There are situations and circumstances that I know have contributed to this bump in the road. I just thought it might help someone else if I share where I am.
My daughter wants to go to the mall today - and sadly since we do not reside in the happy plastic euphoria of credit card debt, there will be no retail therapy. But, I think hanging out with my girl might do me some good.
Ugh, I gotta go do my hair. (I only do it for the rest of the world that has to look at me!)