Sometimes I wish that life was like a sitcom with intense situations that resolve themselves in a matter of minutes. There are times when situations overwhelm me - I behave badly (even if I was justified in a wrong that was committed against me) and everybody in the house walks around refusing to make contact with me. Then on top of it I have to make amends. I hate that part. Not that I hate apologizing - I hate feeling at odds with people that I love.
Here's the deal - I have felt like a single parent for 16 years. My husband is lovely in a lot of ways but when it comes down to the nitty gritty job of parenting, it all falls on me. I am caving under the pressure. I feel like there are days when it is an uphill battle, and truthfully, I get tired. One kid has had clean towels laying in her room for 3 days - while there are none in the actual bathroom where people are needing towels, and today I find 3 kittens laying on them - and while this is dreadfully cute, I don't want hairy towels. And while she has not found the time to fold them, she has been on myspace, watched movies, etc. etc. Another child, while told they could NOT bring drinks in the living room any longer because every other time they do - there is a spill (and honestly I hate being an ogre - but I am tired of cleaning up spills because they cannot adequately remove the stickiness - I feel it is my right to put a moratorium on this child's living room drinking privileges) - however, daily I have to battle this same child over this same issue. I am just exhausted from the fight - and I feel like I do it alone. But if that wasn't enough, my husband gets tired of hearing it - and instead of roping the bulls, he goes for the cowboy that is barely holding on to the saddle to begin with.
I am tired - and whiny. Ugh. Goodnight cruel world. (I don't mean it! Praise the Lord His mercies are new every morning - and the way I see it - the quicker I get to sleep - the quicker that morning will be coming!)