As we have been making the transition out of traditional church, and calling on the Lord to show us when and where and in what direction He wants us to take the next step, I have been evaluating my spiritual life. I have become skeptical of every ritual and routine, finding most of them quite hollow and meaningless. One place I have been second guessing recently is the ritual that my quiet time has become. I have done it for years out of obligation - feeling like it is something I, as a believer "should do". This emphasis has permeated the church. But I am wondering now, how vibrant and vital my relationship with my spouse would be if I said, "Hey, at 7:30 tomorrow morning, I am going to meet with you, and we'll have intimate fellowship."
I know that one reason we tend to "schedule" God in to our days is because that time spent with Him is a priority to us, and we are all so busy - and yet we may be missing the forest for the trees. All of life is spending time with Him. Last week for the first time in years, I found myself laying on my bed reading the word on a Saturday night just because I wanted to. Normally, "God-time" (if I may be so bold as to call it that) has been checked off the list early in the morning. I think it is a shame to say that it was like this for me, but I don't think that I am alone. Instead of being the lover walking on the beach hand in hand with the Lord, we become the annoying secretary, day planner in hand, cracking our gum and tapping our pencils, telling the Lord to come and move in our hearts at a time that is convenient for us.
The journey into a relationship with God that isn't dependent on any formula, ritual or format has been so freeing, and it has had me re-evaluating everything. I have been crippled and these routines, and things done out of obligation have been a crutch. I heard one of the speakers on the GodJourney podcast say that the system props us up and gives us a false sense of spiritual life where there may be very little.
My prayer today is that I would learn to live outside the place of striving to earn the love of God. That I could have peace and rest in living in His love 24/7. That I would allow the living God out of the box I keep trying to shove Him into, to invade every single moment of my day. Overwhelm me with Your presence Lord. Forgive me for what I have made of our relationship.
It is my prayer for you as well.