I am experiencing a brokenness. There are a lot of metaphors for the feelings. I feel like I am beneath the water that is covered with a surface of ice I cannot penetrate. Sugar melting in the rain. Riding a merry-go round that is spinning 100 miles per hour and comes to a sudden stop. The movie "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" has new meaning, as I know what it is like to feel so very small, and God so big that I cannot discern His voice from all of the noise.
I am struggling with being told to honor that which is dishonorable. I am aching from the Bible, the source of comfort and healing having been wielded as a weapon against me as a person, instead of the real enemy at work ripping and tearing flesh and blood apart. Are children who were not brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord exempt or is God also a participant in this cruel torture?
I feel cryptic, like the poem I wrote last night is the only way I can communicate right now, to protect the innocent; to protect myself from feeling it all too deeply.
I'm still praying for you.
ReplyDeleteIt is okay to just be angry for awhile, you know. God is big enough to handle that, He won't melt. Honoring people who don't deserve honor is something I think God wants us to do for our own survival sometimes, not for the benefit of the person we are s'posed to be honoring. Love you & would go to battle for you any day.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what your struggling with right now, nor do I need to know.
ReplyDeleteBut be encouraged.
Rev 7:14 - 17
And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
15Therefore, "they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.
16Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat.
17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."
And..
Isiah 25: 8
He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken.
You are one of his people. Whatever has your heart grieved please know that the Lord is grieved with you. His heart breaks for your struggle. That is how much HE loves you.
I'll pray you FEEL His love.
You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but think of The Shack. This sounds like one for Sarayu. But be encouraged, He's especially fond of you.
ReplyDeleteJulie,
ReplyDeleteI will pray for you. Hang in there my friend.
Not sure what is going on, but I'm praying for you my friend! His strength is perfect.
ReplyDelete