12 May 2007
My friend Carol and I were talking about the things that teens say. She had an incident where a young man, a friend of her daughter's used a phrase that took her by surprise. It wasn't crude necessarily - he stated how so many guys just want to "get in a girls pants". It sounds like he was being sincere, and although using a phrase which at first seems crude, he was sharing his thoughts on the overtly sexual culture we live in and the inappropriate nature of most male-female relationships. I will admit, like many adults, I get uncomfortable when the subject of sex comes up with teenagers, but I have chosen to take the path of being their trusted adviser. If they are speaking about such things in front of me, or with me, then they are inviting me into a sacred part of their lives. When we make sex a taboo subject, and are unwilling to have open and frank discussions with our kids about a topic that is very forefront in their minds, we can encourage it to become a private and secretive part of their lives. I have always talked very openly with my own children about God's plan for the family and the role that sex plays in that plan. I never pass up an opportunity to help teenagers shape their thinking as well. Years ago, as a new youth leader, I knew God wanted me to focus on what He has to say about sex with the group. I asked several parents that I trusted what their thinking was on the subject. My friend Kate told me that the kids need to hear from other Christians, other adults that they trust what God has to say on the subject. It confirms what their parents are telling them at home. I have taken the role of trusted adviser. Sometimes it means I hear things from them that other adults would blush at or shy away from. There are times when I feel awkward and grasp for words, but I never take it lightly that they trust me. Are you a trusted adviser?