20 May 2008

A Working Mom

This has come up a couple of times recently and I thought I would take a minute to address it here - there is no such thing as a mom that doesn't work. Period. Even if you don't get a paycheck. If you homeschool or not, taking care of a home and a family is a job within itself.
Moms that work out of the home - getting their kids up in the morning and off to school before heading out to work for the day and dealing with the public or co-workers, office politics and all that entails all day long, only to come home and make dinner, help with homework, not to mention any extra-curriculuar activities, and get everybody ready to start the day over again tomorrow - are my heroes! (Alisha!) I don't know how they do it. I can remember when I started homeschooling one of the common responses from women I knew was "I don't know how you do that?" and I said that I didn't know how they did what they did. Obviously my Wonder Woman cape came with holes.
However, there is a bit of a sting such as yesterday when my insurance agent said to me about why she couldn't reach me, "Oh I thought maybe you got a job." and a family member suggested not long ago knowing our financial struggles that I might need to consider getting a job. First of all - I have a job that I work from home usually between 25-30 hours a week. Secondly, although it is part time, I come out better income wise in the long run that I would make working outside my home, putting gas in a vehicle and having a wardrobe that consists of more than my t-shirt and jeans fare, etc. Not to mention - I can work for a few hours and then take on a project at home or do something with my kids, arranging my work hours around life with my family. And third, my husband and I decide those things for us because only we can evaluate our priorities.
I think it is a matter of respect. This is where I am, nurturing what is important to my family - and I will extend this respect and expect the same from others.


  1. One of the worst comments I got was when someone exclaimed how she didn't know how I could stay home all day- she needed to get out to work in order to use her brain. All I could think of at the time was a sarcastic, "gee thanks"- which I didn't say outloud. I knew what she meant, and sometimes I will even joke about my brain atrophying, but have some tact, people!!! The few times I have taught as a sub since having children, I saw how hard it was for working moms- wow! I agree- we are all working moms though. I am glad to do it within our 4 walls.

  2. Hey Julie - I have never thought of you as one who doesn't work - some folks just have a hard time thinking outside of 9-5. We have received comments like that, along with all the standard "just don't get homeschooling" comments. I guess we just don't fit the mold. LOL All too soon, those great kids of yours will be off on their own - I don't think you will ever regret a moment you chose to spend with them instead of working outside the home. Everyone has to do what is right for them but I feel greatly blessed to be able to work at home and be with my family.

  3. I know what you mean about the comments and not fitting a mold. I work FT telecommuting from home (for an online university) and our neighbors are convined I don't work, I'm sure. Add to that, I also homeschool our children and that compounds the "neat category" problem. So not only do "working" moms not consider me part of their group, but many homeschooling moms feel the same way (because I work). Add to the mix that my dh also telecommutes FT (for a different company) and our friends and family end up really confused. I try not to look at the negative and really think of our family as 21st century pioneers with our own "homestead". But, like Mel in tx said, you have to do what's best for your family and we decided before we had kids that one of us would be at home full-time to actually raise and be with our children. Everything else has been an outgrowth of that commitment.

  4. I work from home at least one day per week, and outside the home the other four days.

    Without fail, at least one person will make a variation of the following comment at least once a week - "well, you are off on ...day, so I just figured you could do it then..."

    No matter what, we can never win.

  5. Absolutely Julie!! You have truly got an incredible way of words. I admire you a great deal. Hope you know that. I'm glad you're here. :o)

  6. My sister and I have this conversation all the time. She was a stay at home mom and raised 3 girls. I call my self a stay at home mom (I guess I fall into that category) because I'm a full time online student.But I don't homeschool.

    There are so many moms doing so many different things, there are no neat categories. We're all just making our families work and keeping it together the best way we know how!

    People need to learn to respect that.

  7. Each family has a unique set of circumstances. I feel like everyone deserves respect for their choice and working at home or outside of the home are both tough jobs. My sister, Renae is a stay at home mom with 4 kids, I'm a working outside the home mom with 2 kids. We both have a lot of the same frustrations and pleasures. Either way it's stressful, tiring and both are rewarding. You have to do what makes you happy and fulfilled.


Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥