Years ago a friend told me she loved the movie The Hours, but I wouldn't. I always find that amusing. I think we can never fully know what might resonate with another person. I have seen it before but last night I watched it again. It is strange because it is hard for me to watch it without her presupposition in my head.
Watching the movie last night made me think about a lot of things. For one, how much influence a parent's emotional state can affect a child even when there are no words. Children do have an emotional radar. Sometimes the choices we make are profoundly influential, and yet no one else quite knows the darker choices we could have made.
Each day is a choice to live. In the Deuteronomy we are told that "life and death" are set before us. It made me think about all the people I know who have chosen death in the sense that they've given up on really living. I also realize how easily I could do the same. Suicide is a taboo subject - and I have even heard it called a sin. I won't weigh in on that one, no longer feeling the need to have an opinion on anyone else's standing before the Lord but my own. But, I have learned that a half-life is not really a life at all.
I have personally been quite busy, but emotionally and mentally in a funk. My blog has been lacking because I can't get a stream of coherent thoughts to go in one direction together. But I will choose life, and hours and days and weeks and months and years of joy with those I love. No more half-life for me.
No more half life for me either Jewls! I've spent so long just struggling and waiting for something outside of me to make me happy! It comes from inside.
ReplyDeleteSmile, be happy, notice the small things. Even if you don't feel it (been there), just smile.Once you do, the feelings follow.
I'm not as goofy as I sound! I've just gotten desperate for happiness over the last few years and have tried MANY THINGS!LOL
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, let me know if there's anything I can do to help you through these feelings.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a change in scenery helps me when I feel down. I know you want to go back home, so maybe you'll be able to take a trip home soon.
Hang in there :)
Love ya
I hope my post wasn't making light of how you feel. I really hope things get better. If you need to talk, we're all here for you.
ReplyDeleteI was looking at your post in a more positive light than your other commentors. I was going to say, "Yay for your choice to LIVE!" Now I am wondering if I took it the wrong way. I know you haven't had an easy time, but at the same time you seem to not just be following your emotions, and that is a good thing.
ReplyDelete"For one, how much influence a parent's emotional state can affect a child even when there are no words. Children do have an emotional radar. Sometimes the choices we make are profoundly influential, and yet no one else quite knows the darker choices we could have made."
ReplyDeleteLove these thoughts, Julie. Deep stuff. I have to keep re-reading it. And, in the end, I tend to think that the sum of ALL the choices we make are somehow "profoundly influential" on our children.
I'm right there with you in wanting to make every day count, and REALLY live. I think Father is glad about that!