14 August 2007

I Wish I Could Turn My Brain Off

Sometimes I think that being a thinking person is a curse. I don't mean that I am a total brainiac that is always thinking about Einstein's theory of relativity or anything like that - but that unlike some women who are thinking about their nails or where they want their husbands to take them for dinner, I am always thinking about the complexities of life, faith, parenting, relationships, etc. Today has been a major thinking day. I have been terribly upset about the miners that are trapped in Utah. I am struggling with my faith and understanding how it is that just because a person lives in a certain area, or grows up with specific socio-economic challenges - they are in a job that has now endangered their lives. I also wonder that because a person was born in a certain culture, or ethnicity they may be entrenched in a religion that would separate them from God. I think about how panic stricken I would be if I were trapped in a mine. I think of how horrible it would be to know someone you loved was in a mine for 9 days, and have no clue as to whether or not they were dead or alive. I think I know God's character - but these things cause me to grapple with His goodness when things seem so terrible or unfair. The shortcoming is my inability to fully know Him, and not His in any way. Can anyone relate?


  1. I battled a similar question after my recurring miscarriages a few years ago. Actually I battled it for almost three years and still do struggle sometimes today. At the end of the day I had to say 'God I don't understand your ways and they don't seem fair! But I know that I'm better off with you in my life than without you in it. So I'll trust you even when I don't understand.' Did you ever hear the song by Twila Paris 'Do I trust you Lord?' It goes

    Sometimes my little heart
    cant' understand,
    What's in your will?
    What's in your plan?
    So many times I'm tempted
    to ask you why.
    But I can never
    forget it for long.
    Lord what you do,
    could not be wrong!
    So I'll believe you
    even when I must cry!

    Do I trust you Lord?
    Does the robin sing?
    Do I trust you Lord?
    Does it rain in spring?
    You can see my heart,
    You can read my mind,
    and you've got to know,
    I would rather die,
    than to loose my faith
    In the one I love.
    Do I trust you Lord?

    There is more to the song but I've taken up enough of your comment space! LOL! I just thought it might encourage you at the moment my friend! (((HUGS)))

  2. Oh my dear Julie, yes I wish I could turn my brain off. I layed in bed and didn't ever fall asleep last night, I came close though and here it is 4 am and where am I? reading your blog, LOL!
    Actually I do think a lot and I swear it is hard sometimes to be on this learning/thinking/growing curve, sometimes I think the more I know the scarier I get cause I can't keep my mouth shut. Maybe ignorance is bliss :)
    I have had you on my mind lately, if you feel like shooting me an email I would like that, praying for you my friend!

  3. I know what you mean. Whenever I hear about things like this I always wonder if any are ready to step into eternity.


Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥