I have the best group of girlfriends in the entire world. I have many, many blessings in my life - I was born in a country where I can worship the Lord freely, I have a husband that is faithful and committed to me and our children, I am part of an awesome body of believers in a place where I have grown both personally and spiritually. One of the greatest treasures among these blessings is the friends the Lord has literally poured into my life. They are Christian women, some are mothers, some are homeschoolers, and they come in all shapes and sizes, personalities, and each one of them provides something unique to my life that none other can. (I am going to try and write about them individually in future posts - so keep looking for that!)
Last night, we had a "girls night out". It was pretty nice, after being somewhat cooped up and sick, although I didn't do the late movie - I did go and have dinner and I enjoyed it so much. There were ten of us together. Some there I have known for the entire ten years I have made my home here. One was ten years old when I first met her and has grown into a lovely 20 year old woman that I want to be more like when I "grow up". And there was one I have only met within this past year who is as dear as the rest. The company and conversation were wonderful.
The world I lived in before being a believer, I was surrounded mainly by women who spent their time and money at the mall, or having their hair and nails done. Now anybody who knows me will know how out of place I am in that kind of environment! I HATE the mall. I only go there on an "as needed" basis - meaning there is something there I cannot find anywhere else. Relationships were shallow, and very unsatisfying. But these Christian women have brought something to my life that I am not sure I can live without.
Here is that trust issue coming up again. Do I believe that God will provide something that now seems a necessity in my life? Can I trust that if He is taking me a starting over point, where I will have to make new friends that during that time, that I still have my "best" friend in Him? Will I allow Him to take me through a season of loneliness to teach me something new?
I have noticed recently, even in group settings, I have been feeling lonely. It may sound weird, but even while I am with people, I am starting to miss them. I have been thanking the Lord that He is providing these opportunities to experience the ocean wave of emotion, before the tsunami comes in and wipes my life bare of everything familiar. But I know that even then He will be my stronghold. Currently my favorite song is by a group called Kutless - which is often a little too much for me - but they put out a worship CD - and have a song called "Strong Tower". It plays in my head a lot, and I know the Lord allows that track to remind me that the One who has my life in His hands is able to carry me even through this.