I got a comment this morning from "Tina" (I have so many of those in my life that it seems I've never met a Tina I didn't like!) who said she enjoyed observing the journey with my girls and their relationships. Of course it doesn't hurt that there are some really special guys involved, but this is what our fellowship and communion of hearts is all about. The journeys we make are intertwining one another both in real life and in the blogosphere. We learn from each other as we share the trials and laughter along the way. I have learned that the only things that stunt relationships with God and others are the things I hold back.
I have learned through the years with my kids to be the same way. It has not been an easy process. As I have said in previous posts, where we are was never where I expected to end up. I wanted my kids to experience the best that God has for them, and I was going to forcibly make it happen. The thing is that somewhere along the way, the grace of God has shown me that all of that intensity would potentially destroy not only our relationship but their image of God. In all that He is, He is a gentleman. He does not force His way or His will on us. As parents how can we consider it our duties to nurture our children to be at a higher level than our Creator takes with us?
One of the things that has become increasingly clear to me is that while I aim to live respectably with others, I no longer feel obligated to adjust my life accordingly. He put my children in my care, so He must've thought I could handle the job. The standard for living is set by God alone, and in relationship with Him is where I find what adjustments need to be made.
I have been frustrated with the attitude, even in Christian community that makes boys out to be deviants and perverts just waiting for an opportunity to behave badly. I do not believe this of my own son, or the sons of others. We are each imbued with good and bad. We each have choices to make, some which will be successful and others that will be failures. We will each make mistakes along the way. If God has allowed us the freedom to do so, how can we do any less for one another, and our children?
The other part of Tina's comment was this: What I love so much is that you are so peaceful about it and you don't treat the guys like the enemy. I am at peace. I can trust Papa to love my kids the way He loves me, and guide them through their lives as they mature and grow in their personal relationships with Him. What would come from treating the boys like enemies? I can trust Papa with them too. He's so good at what He does.