25 August 2008

The "C" Word

So, I've been delightfully busy over the past few weeks. I have been enjoying Lizbeth's company to no end. Late night talks, movies, long lunches together, pedicures - all things one really misses when having a girlfriend as a constant companion. It is a condensed make-up for the time we've lost. She has needed me, and I have really needed her. I didn't realize just how much.
In the past week and a half I have had a sobering realization. In 1993 I had a round with cervical cancer. Thankfully it was caught very quickly and after a couple of minor procedures and a surgery, I had a clean bill of health for many of the years that followed. No biggie. However, as life has gotten away from me on so many levels, I have neglected to continue those routine visits with the doctor to keep a check on that situation. I haven't had an exam in three years. It is so easy to forget when things seem fine. Over the past couple of months the symptoms of the same problem have made themselves known, and in the past week they have been acute. In the ER today there was little they could do other than test for infection and refer me to a specialist. I will have to wait until I can get in with a doctor for a full check-up, and it looks like that will take a whole month. I dread it, and I really dread the waiting. I did manage to get a shot for pain and that seems to be helping this evening.
Lizbeth had me sit down and write out all of my symptoms, and I could've cried. None of them standing alone seem like a huge deal, but when you put them altogether, it is overwhelming. On top of feeling yuck, I feel stupid. I don't know how these things could've gotten past my attention collectively. Travis has been extra loving and the man who does not text sent me two "I love you" texts this morning before I was even awake.
Thank you Lord. I know that come what may, You are there, and You have surrounded me with so much love.

11 comments:

  1. Are ya trying to scare me???????????

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  2. Ok, don't panic. I too had a cervical cancer scare. Mine was in 1991. I had a cone biopsy and laser surgery and all was fine. I had to have paps every 3 months for a year. Then I went every 6 months for a year. Then yearly for a few years. Then my doc told me that since I had been clean for so long, it really would be ok if I wanted to skip a year in between. I never have, but she said I could. Cervical cnacer is one of the slowest growing cancers. Don't start freaking yourself out until know what's up for sure. Promise? Praying that this will be nothing at all, just a minor infection and inconvenience! {{{HUGS}}} deep breath : )

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  3. Don't feel stupid. MAN...it's not time to feel bad/stupid. It's time to visit the doc. Like, tomorow. promise?

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  4. oh Julie! you're in my prayers! i have never ever been for one of those dr. visits. i suppose i should. please, take care of yourself!

    i love you.

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  5. Oh man- it is so tough to have to wait for results. I will be praying. Keep us posted!

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  6. Well, you just made me drop my heart into my stomach.

    Oh, my girl, I'll be praying for you. Think positive thoughts. C. feeds on negatives.

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  7. What Stephanie said! God, Juls, what am I supposed to do with that.

    Donna, my grandma died of cc, and just 6 months before that her pap came back fine.

    Juls, you'll be ok because you have to be ok! I'll be praying for you constantly! I hope the doctor can get you in sooner! I pray that the doctor will get you in sooner!

    <3 <3 <3

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  8. A few years ago I had a pre cancerous scare, some cells came back abnormal, they did further testing and I saw a specialist and I was fine. My Gyn burned some spots off of my vagina and that hurt like a son of a bitch.
    Praying for you my dear friend.

    Just thought I'd share :)
    Watch out I am raw tonight!

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  9. Wow, Julie. Once again, I've not been able to keep up with everyone's blogging, so just now reading up on yours. Please know that I am praying for you, for health, wholeness, peace, strength, healing, less stress, and whatever else He puts on my heart to pray. I hope you will come to know His presence, in these coming days of waiting, like NEVER BEFORE!! You have blessed my life, and I will gladly hold your situation up to Papa, knowing that you will experience His love in the midst of this time.

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Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥