23 March 2008

My Little Girl

I don't know where she went. It seems she was born grown up. This morning I was in tears realizing how much of her life has whizzed by and in just a couple of short weeks she'll be 17. Kendra is one of those people that is like a sparkling star. She was only 2 when her sister was born, cutting short her babyhood. We were watching a video last night of her baptism. She was 6 years old. The pastor had to get a metal folding chair into the baptismal for her to stand on so she could even be seen. This is what he said of the little girl who stood beside him smiling from ear to ear, with unkempt hair and crooked teeth:
Have you ever heard someone pray, and it was as if they knew Jesus was standing right there? Let me tell you something, you haven't heard anything until you've heard Kendra pray. It is as if she knows He is right beside her. And not only is he beside her, a few weeks ago, He came to dwell in her.

It made me cry then and it makes me cry now. Her heart was always so tuned in to the Lord even when she was small. She went through a pretty difficult year when she was 13 and I never feared, for I knew she had loved Him so much that He would be able to do the work necessary to bring her back.
She never really was a baby. She came out of the womb speaking in full sentences. Aside from the baptism, the video was full of family moments. She often got pushed, unintentionally to the side, being the most independent of our children. She has strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, she is feisty and loving. She is ready to bolt like a race horse out of the gates into adult life, and I will be lost. I didn't know I was worth anything until I became her mother. She has changed my life completely and forever. I saw the love of God in her eyes the first moment I held her. My shining star is about to take off and leave me in darkness. A mother's heart grows faint to think of it. I am going to go and have lunch with her during her break at the restaurant where she works. I have decided to grab every minute I can with one of the best people I have ever known as often as I can.

10 comments:

  1. You are so blessed! And I bet she would call you blessed too. :-)

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  2. Has it been 11 years??? I remember her baptism and no way does it seem like it's been that long. Happy Early B-day Kendra!

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  3. Gosh, it wasn't even my girl or my pastor, but that was a comment to treasure indeed! wow.

    So glad to be back. I love your cast pictures. What a great looking set. (and the cast wasn't half bad either!)

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  4. Beautiful post Julie. Makes me tear up to think how fast the time will go- before I know it, my daughter will be 17. Ok, she's only 11 1/2, but I know it is going to go by WAY too fast!

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  5. Sniff, sniff...
    that was beautiful and so is your family.

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  6. Marsha - I think she thinks she is blessed too but I don't know why. There was a huge learning curve in figuring out how to be a good parent without any real examples. She was the one who endured all the testing.

    Dwayne & Jane - it has been 11 years - and yes it DOES fly!

    Thank you everyone else - we had lunch together which I waited almost 2 hours for - but she was worth it!

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  7. That was beautiful, it really touched me.

    I was born grown up too and ready to fly free :)

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  8. Oh, you had to go and make me cry! Now, I'm gonna go play a game with my kids. To hell with what I was gonna do! :)

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  9. She is so beautiful Julie. You are very lucky and so is she.

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  10. Way to go, Kaitlyn! You cut short Kendra's babyhood. Geesh. :)

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♥ Juls ♥