28 September 2005
I'm the Parent of a Teenager - That Means I'm Insane!
I have a teenage daughter. I love her very much however, at times it feels like we are from different planets. Sometimes she blinks her eyes and says, "I love you, mommy" - translation - I want something. Sometimes she looks at me with an expression that says, "I hate you" - translation I need you to understand me. Sometimes she stomps down the hall, borrows my things and doesn't return them, asks me to buy ugly clothes, wants her hair streaked, her ears pierced, and would like somehow for me to alter the genetic makeup that causes her to have a nose shaped like mine and a chin shaped like her father. Sometimes she cries, and even she will readily admit it is for absolutely no reason! Recently she was really angry with someone, and when we talked it out, and dug a little deeper - I realized she wanted to stay angry at him, because she doesn't want to like him! She will ask me to sacrifice many hours of sleep to sit up and talk a problem out with her - and the very next day accuse me of never doing ANYTHING for her. She will insist I love her brother and sister more than her, that she NEVER gets a front seat in the car, that we never listen to HER music, she doesn't ever go ANYwhere, do ANYthing or see ANYbody - when I feel sometimes like I meet myself coming and going while helping to coordinate the social life and extracurricular activites of her and any number of her friends! She thinks herself in love with someone and talks about him 24/7, and yet rolls her eyes when her brother sings a song he likes for a second time, or I repeat a request for her music to be turned down AGAIN! Most of the time, I would swear we don't speak the same language, and yet there is a communication that goes through to the heart. Last night she came into my bedroom crying and asked to sleep with me. We didn't say too many words. She just cuddled up to me, and I held her as she cried - and I thought to myself that our relationship at it's core is still much like it was when she was a baby. She is still growing and changing - yet even though she thinks herself quite sophisticated and grown up, when things are hard, and the tears start to fall, she still needs me to hold her while she cries!