I have noticed lately I have an aversion. Perhaps it has always been there, but lately I have become overwhelmingly conscious of it. The aversion is the male supremacy of our society in general. I am not sure what opened my eyes to this when it seems perhaps I have been half-asleep for so many years, but I can hardly stand it. My sister had a guest come over for dinner the other night, and while it was the right thing to do to serve dinner to that guest, since it was a man, something inside me wanted to scream, "let him get his own plate!".
This being said, I have served my husband many dinners, drinks, laid out his towel in the bathroom for his shower, and any number of other things. I have done these out of the love in my heart for him, and not out of some primitive idea that I owe him these things. But I have noticed more and more lately that men often sit back in silent expectation, as if they deserve to be served. Women tend to fall into the natural role of serving and our society has this unspoken structure that prevails to the point that I have noticed I do it without even a second thought. It is interesting that I find myself in this position when my mom wasn't the subservient kind of woman. She expected to be waited on and served. Nor was my dad a model of this kind of man that sits back and waits for women to do certain things. He has always jumped in and done what needed to be done, be it laundry, dishes, etc.
As a woman, I have been pushed out of intelligent conversation with men. I have watched other women serve food and drinks to the men in a gathering while the women, who are also guests are to serve themselves. I have seen boy children given preference and allowed to leave the dinner table and run and play while the daughters must stay and assist with clean up or are expected to help with the smaller children. I could go on and on with paragraph after paragraph of such examples.
I have been noticing that this doesn't just happen in marriage but in male and female interaction across the board. I am not sure I'm able to fully articulate why this is bothering me so much recently. I know that I feel the same way when a man holds the door for me, as if he is in some way indicating that I deserve preference because I'm a woman. I appreciate the gentlemanly gesture, while at the same time I know that this comes from the same mindset. I know that I am overthinking it all a bit, and hope that one day I don't have some mental fracture that causes me to jump behind the door and refuse to walk through it just because a man is holding it.
Even the Bible and Christian culture tend to follow the Jewish patriarchal model and show preference for the most part to men. Jesus however never modeled this. He said that the greatest in the kingdom must be the servant of all. He did not indicate a gender prerequisite, therefore making this premise applicable to everyone. We must all serve one another. When the world around us elevates men and diminishes women, Jesus spoke to both equally.
I am just feeling a little tired and frustrated with the status quo. Can anybody feel me?