30 December 2008

Feeling Crusty and Defensive

I had a discussion with my dad today wherein he took issue with homeschooling. Several times recently while discussing some changes going on in our family, it has been said that I needed to "put the kids in school". It really sucks that when I'm already down and out, feeling somewhat vulnerable is when people in my family from whom I most want love, acceptance and support, have chosen to use it to coerce me into the lifestyle they think I should have. Nothing doing.
In our conversation, it was asked if the kids were going to "sit around the house all day?" Is that really what people think we do? Perhaps if these people spent some time with us in our world, they would know better. My kids have always had friends and activities and engagements and lots of social outlets. I don't understand the small thinking that "socialization" is something learned in schools and not in the society at large.
I work hard to respect and love my siblings and the choices they make for their kids. I try to show my step-mother respect for what is important to her as a school secretary. Is it possible I could receive a little of this in return? Can we disagree and choose different things without making value judgments on one another? My kids are amazing, and it is really about damn time that they acknowledge it. If one of my nieces and nephews were shy - they would not blame the public schools. Don't blame homeschooling for my children's personalities. Don't blame homeschooling because they choose to sit with adults or their siblings instead of hanging out with a bunch of whooping, hollering teenagers who they think are idiots. Don't blame homeschooling because my kid doesn't care to play sports. Don't blame homeschooling for everything you think is wrong with my kids - who asked you to evaluate them anyway? Why do we all have to be gray - can't some of us have some color of our own?
When it comes down to it - I will never give up my choices for my family to live the way we see fit. That price is too high. I don't need anything if it comes with strings attached.

12 comments:

  1. HERE HERE!

    You go girl!!!!
    I feel ya!

    My dad and stepmom are teachers and there are several on my mom's side.

    Remember when I was so pissed because I told my dad that Jared was reading at age 5 but he overlooked that and ridiculed me because Cassie wasn't at 8...

    He said if she was in school she would have to read or they would find out what is wrong.

    UGH!!!!

    There is nothing wrong with my child or yours.

    Screw them!

    School sucks the love of learning right out of you. Let them live in their little friggin box and tell them to stay out of your world.

    I'm sorry!
    You didn't need this on top of everything else.

    I wouldn't want to live close to them, judge, jury and jail, no thank you.

    Hey I met your kids, nothing backasswards about them :)

    My kids prefer adults and their siblings or close friends to hang with also.

    Damn I could go on and on but this is your blog and people I don't know are reading this comment :)

    HA!


    Like I care :)

    Love you girl, I accept you and support you.

    BE FREE MY DEAR, BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. I'm sorry for your frustration and hurt. "Home school" is just one of many areas full of judgment and condemnation, however. And, I don't think you should expect anything different. Yearn for it, yes. Expect it, no.

    In CHRIST there is NO condemnation. Set your mind ON HIM!!!

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  3. My Mother-in-Law and Sister-in-law are teachers. It NEVER stops with them. I wish they could see what a wonderful child my son is. Instead, they "test" him constantly when they see him. They never look beyond what he does or doesn't know in order to see the wonderful little person he is.

    I don't understand why people can not simple respect the choices other people make.

    Some people will never like anything that hints at being different or stepping beyond the norm.

    Keep living in color!

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  4. [[[Juls]]]. I'm not filled with words at the moment, but I am filled with compassion. It's down right wrong for people to judge the choices of others. Your kids are great, all kids are, if people would just take the time to enter thier world for just a moment and see how they shine. It's the synical adults' loss. I pray and truly believe we are making, or allowing our kids to make, a better world where people are truly free in their hearts.

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  5. sha-ZAM. That's how I feel ALL the time. If a homeschooled kid is shy...annoying people assume that if the kid were in p.s. then they'd 'break out of their shell' I've seen plenty of shy public schooled kids. Why is it that all kids need to be lock-stepped together? Kids are just as unique as the adults they become.

    hooray that you can do whatever you'd like to do, 'cause you have a mighty God leading you and a husband as your head.

    Amen for that. right?

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  6. Just a word of encouragement to trust your gut and listen to what you know is best for your family. It stinks that the people we want to be in our corner do not always choose to be. =( While I think it is their loss, I also know it can hurt tons.

    It's always easier to notice specifics about the stray that has wandered off, than the whole herd. So maybe it is a great sign that your kids are even able to be "known" or observed with such a critical eye and aren't just merely like every other teen they've met.

    Krystal

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  7. Could not agree more Julie!! Extremely well said.

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  8. As I read, all I could imagine was a really awesome fireworks display!!
    After all the "oohs" and "aahs", I couldn't help but applaud.
    Love you, girl. Never give up!

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  9. I was the absolute shyest kid ever...and, for the record, was NEVER homeschooled. I used to drive my teachers crazy because I refused to speak AT ALL.

    Oh, and for the record, I still don't like to speak to people. Heck of a lot of good 12 years of school did to change that. lol

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  10. A friend of mine recently wrote about this same subject.

    http://branchofvine.blogspot.com/2008/12/school-crisis.html

    Best
    Leonard

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  11. Well, tell us how you REALLY feel, Julie! :)

    I SO get it. And I feel your frustration.

    You do what's in your heart to do, and to hell with the rest of 'em.

    You're doing Great!!

    Remember: Freedom or DIE!!!!

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Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥