22 December 2008

Dream a Little Dream With Me

I don't know why - but all of my life sleep has eluded me. I love to sleep. When I lay down, it is usually only a matter of minutes before I'm out like a light. Typically this is because I don't go to bed one second before I'm utterly exhausted - which just so happens to be most of the time. With my new work schedule - 1/2 am is becoming pretty common which means I need to sleep until about 8 or 9. But, here it is 6 am and I am wide awake - well maybe not wide - but I am awake which is the opposite of sleeping which is what I want to be.
The hardest part is that I am often awake for reasons that could be prevented. I can't seem to make members of my family understand that I need peace and quiet to sleep. Conversations, doors shut too loudly, lights left on that stream into my room, etc. are all interruptions of my sleep and typically once I'm awake - I cannot go back to sleep. I am also not a napper, so I wake up without having had enough sleep and do not recover over the course of a day. If this happens several days in a row I manifest signs of insanity.
Growing up with a mom who was mentally ill, and one of her biggest problems was insomnia, I saw the effects of severe sleep deprivation. She would stay awake and not sleep for days on end, and then crash and sleep for days. The hard part for me was that if she didn't sleep, she did not allow me to rest either. She would call me for me from her room all hours of the night to get her cigarettes, "refresh" her tea, or wipe out her ashtray. Even if she went out, she would call and ask me to do things. It was such a huge issue that said "I'm more important than you" everytime she decided that her need for whatever it was superseded my need for sleep. A lot of that comes back now when members of my family disrespect my need for rest - and I stick up for myself in a way I couldn't back then. Proper rest is so necessary to a clear mind - and I'm not getting it lately. I am in one big fog.


  1. I'm just like that...can't sleep without silence....or certain kinds of silence. Turn on The Andy Griffith show and I'm out like a light. ; )

    My kids have started refering to when I go to sleep as *deflating* because I go "SSSSHHHHHH" over and over. lol

  2. My brother was just telling me about some herb that works, I will get back to you on that..

    In the mean time please save fuzzy. cut and paste following address to your browser.


  3. Man, I hate that!!

    And what crap a parent can put off on, and get away with, with a child. I'm sorry for how she treated you, giving you the message that you weren't important. That's not how it should be.
    I know that leaves a scar.

    I'm sorry for your frustrations with sleep interruptions. I am much the same in that once I'm awake... I'm awake. And I'm sorry, but I can't sleep with even a little noise. I am probably (Ok, absolutely) at my worst when I'm exhausted and need to sleep.

    And heaven help the one who wakes me up prematurely!! It's not pretty!

    I admit, I am the resident Noise Nazi around my house, especially during someone's nap time. You wake the baby... and I'll have you for lunch!! :)

    Hey... Merry Christmas BTW!!! :)

  4. I haven't talked to my brother yet about that herb, but here's an amusing short cut that goes along with what our mutual friend just said. cut and paste it to your browser.


  5. That stuff is called Melatonin, I bought some at Wallgreens. I got the most potent, 5 mg. and have tried it for the past 4 days, it dose seem to make a difference, but the first day I was tired again early on in the day. but now more energetic and not tossing so much, waking up in pretty much the same position. Hope it helps.

    ps. about $7.50 for 60 tabs.


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♥ Juls ♥