Feeling Too Much

I don't know how you go from being numb to feeling so much you feel like the pain alone will kill you. I spent about half an hour in my bathroom crying until I was vomiting, with my children holding my head. I don't know how to conceal the hell I am going through from them. While every intimate detail is not laid bare in front of them, I think there is no way to shield them from this. It is our mutual nightmare to live through together.
I feel like I can't listen to the radio or watch TV. Everything stirs up feelings inside of me. I don't really know what to do but put one foot in front of another. I would love nothing more than to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head and pretend this all is not happening and is not necessary.
Please continue your prayers dear bloggers. I know there is something supernatural that keeps me moving forward when I want to stop and sit right here in this pain and die.

Prayers Please

I am enduring one of the most intense personal conflicts ever - and I am not sure how to handle it. I want to blog about it so badly but this would hurt more than one other person, some of whom I care about deeply. I am ready to give up. It is all too difficult. I could use some prayers.

Heartwrenching Prayer Request

I almost don't want to blog about this - but on the chance that you might pray for them, I can't not do it. I got a prayer request last night for the Drews family. I have been online friends with Marsha for at least 3 years since I launched into the blogosphere. We have always kept in touch and commented each other. I love reading about her family, her precious boys, her marriage and her life. She has a terrific sense of humor.
Late last night they took her 3 year old son out of a pond behind their home. It is just heartwrenching. I went to bed last night just praying their name unable to know what more to pray for but that Papa would surround them overwhelmingly with His love.
Please pray for them. Even if you don't know what they need, I know He will.

Prayer Request - My Friend Melody and Her Sister

I have a non-blogging friend, Melody who I met almost a year ago now. She had just moved here from Houston, and the two of us found compatibility in our mutual experiences of how difficult it was for us to sort of find our niche here. Melody and I have become really good friends, although she is one of the busiest moms and grandmas that I know. She is a precious lady. Not long ago, her sister, Lana started to be pretty sick. She was in congestive heart failure. About a week ago they had to transport Lana from a hospital in Louisiana to a special hospital in Houston where she has been in ICU ever since. Melody called me on Friday and said that all of Lana's organs are failing - including her liver and kidneys. She is also on a ventilator. They have asked the family to make a decision to remove her from some of this support by the end of the weekend. I have not talked to her to know what they have decided. I know this is a heart-wrenching thing for any family to endure. Please pray for my friend and her family.
Thanks in advance.

Prayer Request for Grace

My friend Kate has a daughter, Grace who has truly lived up to her name. Her entire life has been one medical battle after another, but if you met her, you would never know it. I remember her as the little girl in Children's Church and Thursday night church (yes, our church was weird) who would hold her head back to deal with allergies. Grace has been through surgeries, daily shots, cancer treatment, overcame hearing loss to learn to speak and read, and the latest medical obstacle to overcome is that she needs a kidney transplant. She is scheduled to have a catheter put in today to begin dialysis. Tomorrow is her 14th birthday. Please pray for God's healing touch on Grace, His guidance of the surgeon's hands, and His provision for all of her needs. If you would like to see picture of this beautiful girl, her mom posted some here!

Pray for Adrianne

Last summer, a month before my father-in-law passed away, one of his great-grandchildren went to be with the Lord. My niece Adrianne went into labor unexpectedly at only 23 weeks into her pregnancy. While her baby, Ashton lived a short while, he was soon in the arms of the Lord. Adrianne is pregnant again, 22 weeks now. Yesterday she started bleeding and we knew that something was amiss. It appears that she may have an incompetent cervix - which means that when the baby's reaches a certain weight the cervix starts to dilate from the pressure. We are really praying that this is the answer and that she can deliver this baby - healthy and happy - at full term. If you would, say a prayer for she and her husband Michael, as well as my SIL, Vonda and MIL, Myrtice who are beside themselves with worry.

UPDATE - It appears that Adrianne's regular doctor - a specialist in high-risk pregnancies doesn't think that the stitches in her cervix are a good idea. They are ideally done at 14 weeks - and at this stage could cause her to go into labor. So, she is on strict bed-rest. I've been there myself, and I don't envy her. But as of now, everything is fairly stabilized. Keep praying.

URGENT Prayer Request - Lost Kitten

We have a serious issue going on in our house right now. We can only account for 5 of the 6 kittens that were born on Tuesday night. We were gone so much of the day yesterday that we didn't count them again until this morning I took pictures of some of them yesterday morning though - and this little calico sweetie is missing. Please pray that we find her. Mama kitty doesn't seem the slightest bit worried which makes me think wherever the kitten is - she knows it. We've emptied every closet and checked under every bed and nook and cranny. Please pray for us that we will find her - we are devastated. This was my favorite one.
Update: It is 11 pm and we still haven't found her. Please continue to pray. Mama kitty may know where she is and be taking care of her elsewhere. My house has been turned upside down - but still no sign of her.
Update: 11 am Friday - still no kitten. I don't know where else to look. I am so sad about it. Please keep praying - for a miracle. I worry that wherever she is that if she hasn't eaten in 24 hours - she is starving.

Perspective and Prayer Request

I am thankful that the Lord's mercies are new every morning. There was a time when I couldn't have experienced that - a new day. One miserable day seemed to roll into the next, but not so much anymore. And I got a reality check.....
This morning I read about Heather - she is one of the super talented ladies behind the Homeschool Blog Awards. She just found out she has cancer, likely in her brain. Please pray for her and her family. These are surely scary days for all of them. Pray for her healing, the wisdom of doctors, for the Lord to help her with the sense that this is not fair. It doesn't seem fair.
This morning the revelation was this - life is too short to allow insecurity and discouragement rob us of our days. How can I get it so twisted in my feeble little mind?

Lord be with Heather today.