Car Wash

After dropping his sisters off for work yesterday morning - Kullen and I headed to the car wash! This is what it looks like from inside the car. Evidently the van is a formidable enemy.

Generic Parenting

Recently, we added a 5^th line to our cell phone plan enabling my 10 year old son to join us in the cellular world.
I love my cell phone. There, I said it. I’ve just outed myself as a technology lover.
Thankfully I know other adults who love it as much. I watched a friend giddily text-messaging her husband at a card game last week – and so I know while I may be a minority I am not alone.
The thing is that now there are kids who are older than my son whose parents have decided that their children will not have a cell phone who have looked at us with disgust. I recognize it. It’s the hidden, unspoken, somehow silently agreed upon standard among parents that kids don’t get a cell phone until they are teenagers.
That’s not my standard. I didn’t silently agree. There are a lot of reasons we let him have a cell phone. First, my son has always been drawn to electronics. He has never liked toys. I see advantages as he texts other people – he’s writing, and spelling, and has learned a great deal of responsibility.

I don't have to explain.
But I hate the look.
The one that says, how dare you make my kid ask me why your 10 year old has a cell phone, when I won’t let them have one until they’re 13….15…whatever.
Be yourself. Make decisions for your own family and stick to them. Let me parent my kids and decide what and when the best is for them. Quit generic parenting. Consider your child and cast these ambiguous standards to the wind.

Dear Kullen

Here is my entry for the CONTEST at Emily's blog.

Dear Kullen,

I have been thinking about writing this letter for several days now, but haven't quite had the words to capture my thoughts. Today, while in line at the grocery store behind an elderly man, I was inspired. I was thinking that once, like you, he probably had a mother who adored him. He looked a little lonely, disoriented, hard of hearing. He was fumbling in his pockets for the correct change, and attempting to strike up conversation with the cashier, who seemed less than interested. His boyhood days are long gone, but the things his mother taught him are likely still a big part of his life. It made me think of the things I want to teach you, and hope that you will keep with you until you are old.

• Look people in the eye when you speak to them, it is the best sign of a clear conscience
  
• Tucking your shirt in and combing your hair are important to make a good impression, if that is your goal, but people who matter will care more about your character and your heart than what you look like on the outside – pursue relationships with those people
  
• Ask questions and never accept someone else's interpretation of things. Be willing to ask the really hard questions, and never be too proud to say, I don't know.
  
• Learn to laugh at yourself. One of life's greatest challenges is not taking yourself too seriously.
  
• Be gracious and forgiving with others. It is the best gift you can ever give them.
  
• Don't waste your life in the pursuit of money or material gain. These things are empty. If you want true happiness, that can only be found in following the road that God has laid out for you. He is the best guide for navigating this path.
  
• Although perfect peace may never be attained in this world, never fail to do your part in pursuing it. Even when it's hard, and even when you're tired, never give up on doing good.
  
• Don't live to work, work to live.
  
• Love deeply, and don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Being vulnerable enough to give your heart fully to someone else involves risk, everything worthwhile usually does.
  

Always remember that you are special to me. I will always love you. There is nothing that you could ever do to lose that love. Being your mom has taught me so many valuable lessons about life. It is a wild ride, and I am so glad we are in it together.

I love you with all my heart.

Mom

Take It Easy

I had the misfortune today of finding something humorous that a child did -
The mother of the child who did it did not agree, and she let me know in no uncertain terms that her child struggled with "pride"........
Poor guy.
It was just a joke.
He was only teasing.
It was actually quite witty. It was clever.
It wasn't disrespectful or hurtful or disobedient in any way.
He was punished.

I have been scratching my head. I have never understood this kind of parent. This mother spoke of her son in his presence with her teeth gritted while I giggled at what he had done.
I wondered if her son's behavior had embarrassed her. Perhaps he is not the one struggling with pride after all.

Would you be worried.......

.....to find that your 10 year old son knows all the words to Superfreak???
Let's pretend I never mentioned it, 'kay?

Unburdening Myself

I feel in a funk today. There are lots of things that are weighing on me. I am not sure how to assimilate my thoughts in a cohesive manner - so I think I'll just make a list.

• I have a 10 yr old son who would like me to be a playmate to him. I don't know where to start and I feel that I am failing here with him.
  
• Financial burdens - everything is getting more and more and more expensive - from gas to groceries. Our income is not growing accordingly. In fact some of our income seems to be trickling in and I fear at times that it may never come. Each month I am spending money unnecessarily in late charges, etc. My husband needs to make a job change in order for us to progress financially - and he is very resistant to any change - whatsoever.
  
• I am starting to miss my mom - or maybe miss the idea of having a mom. I can't always put my finger on what brings this longing to the surface - but this time I do. Yesterday I overheard the conversation of a new friend and her sister who are going on an out of town trip together to a large TX flea market - and I could feel the pang instantly. Nobody can fix this - it is just how it is, and sometimes I deal with it but once in a while it comes up.
  

These are the big things - but right now little things like grocery shopping, planning menus, staying on top of laundry, etc. has become more of a burden than just a natural, easygoing part of the day. Just writing about it seems to have helped.

Mama's Boy

When I was a little girl, I loved dolls and I loved to play that I was their mother. I was probably around six, when my parents bought me a baby boy doll. He was special, and when I outgrew the doll phase, he was the hardest one to pack away. Fast forward about 15 years to motherhood, I was 27 years old and the Lord had blessed me with two precious and beautiful little girls. I enjoyed being a mom so much, and all the things that go with little girls. I liked making their hairbows, and dressing them a like, not to mention barbies and babies and the Little Mermaid. I knew how to do this mother to girls thing. But somewhere in my heart, I knew that I was supposed to have a little boy. When we found that we were expecting again, although I had never cared one way or another during either of my other two pregnancies, this third time I really wanted to be the mom of a little boy. I remember the day that Travis and I went in for an ultrasound and they were able to tell us conclusively that we were going to have a son. I started to cry, and couldn't even wait to leave the building to call my father-in-law to tell him that he was going to have a grandson with his last name. The pregnancy was rough, and there were times I really feared for the safety of my baby boy, but ten years ago today, Sept. 13, 1997, he was born.
There are lots of things I could have never anticipated about having a son. He sees me through a lens that nobody else does - and tells me I'm beautiful all the time. He has the most compassionate heart. He loves to help, like a little gentleman running ahead and almost knocking you down to hold the door for you. It makes up for the other things he has done such as:

• getting a mini-gobstopper stuck in his ear when we were making gingerbread houses, or getting his head stuck in a lego container in the church nursery and screaming so loud we could hear him upstairs
  
• pulling the fire alarm at the local college while one of his sisters was taking piano lessons while I was preoccupied with helping the other sister who was learning to read - and yes, the entire fire-rescue team in the county showed up!
  
• almost setting the couch on fire when he was four years old by striking matches he found while hiding down in the corner of the cushions
• calling 911 from the ice skating rink when he was 5, and got a major lecture from a female police officer
• swinging around a sharp knife he wasn't supposed to have one afternoon that flew out of his hand and sliced his sisters arm open requiring a trip to the ER and stitches (he felt so bad he waited on her hand and foot for days!)
  

These are just some highlights in an everyday excitable life with my little boy. He likes to jump out at me from around the corners just to see my startled reaction. He is always ready to be in a good mood and laugh and smile with you. He's ten years old today and still likes to hold my hand in public. Ten years of being his mommy has been the delight of my life. As I have noticed him growing up, I will take him in my lap and squeeze him really hard and tell him I'm doing it so he won't get any bigger, but I also don't want to keep him from growing into the man God wants him to be.
Happy Birthday son. I love you until the day after forever! Now please don't break your neck on those Heelys we got you for your birthday!

Too Good Not to Share

This was so touching - I had to share.

Funny Things Kids Say - "School" Dream

Kullen usually gets up and gets into bed with me when Travis gets out of bed to get ready for work in the mornings - sometimes his daddy is still there and he just wedges in between us. This morning was one of those mornings. He cuddled up to me in a half-asleep state and in a slightly amused voice said, "Mom -- I dreamed last night that I went to school!" I said, "You did? Did you like it?" "No," he said, "All we did all day was sit around on a bed." I opened my eyes now, and looked at him, slightly concerned that this child really had NO idea what "school" was like. I said, "Kully, have you ever seen a school before?" To which he condescendingly replied, "Yes mom!" So I tried to make my point, "They don't have beds in school." At this point he was really worried about me, so he explained, "Mom, it was a DREAM!"

Another funny point about this early morning conversation is that last night when I was reading The Magician's Nephew to him, something in the story triggered a conversation wherein I was explaining to him how adults often lose their ability to use their imagination! HA! Caught me!

My Little Boy

We went to my friend Carol's house on Monday for a Labor Day cookout - it was lots of fun! The kids were swimming, and playing, while Carol, and her recently widowed friend Barbara and I played cards and talked. At some point, Kullen had come in while we were talking about being teenagers, and my high school boyfriend came up. Kullen of course starts asking questions, as usual in rapid fire. Finally he says, "I'm glad you didn't marry him! I wouldn't have even been born!" (I wonder exactly how much he knows!) Then he tilts his head upward, in a thinking gesture, and a few seconds later says, "No, he wouldn't have anything to do with your pregnancy with me!" It was so funny - and I have no idea what was really going through that little head of his!

Isn't he cute? Here he is with some toast art that he made!!

And just FYI - if you have read my sermon notes before, I didn't have any this week - originally because I was scheduled to work in the nursery with Kaitlyn. However, in that little window of time between Sunday school and church, I noticed Kullen had a toy he wasn't supposed to have brought to church, so I made him go out to the car and put it away. Just a few seconds later, he came running up to me, blood running down his foot, almost hyperventillating to keep from crying. The door had come back and jammed his foot inside of his sandals, and ripped the nail almost all the way OFF of his big toe on his left foot. So instead of working nursery, we went to Urgent Care on the advice of a couple of medical professionals. Yuck!

School started at our little "family school" yesterday, and as we were working on a math lesson, trying to bridge the gap between last spring and now we did some review. They were all things I know that he knows - however here is what it was like: when working on a word problem that ended up with the equation 8 + 9 = 17 --- he writes the 8, scratches his arm, looks at the ceiling fan, then back at his paper, thinks about the problem again and realizes he needs to put a + sign, writes the + sign, lays his pencil down, blows eraser shavings not just away from his paper but across the entire table, looks out the window, makes a comment about the weather, stands up, kisses me, sits back down (when I say SIT DOWN), picks up his pencil and writes the number 9 - at which point I am breathing down his neck. If he puts the pencil down again, it had better be for a very good reason - and by the time he writes the = sign he has to do the computation again to get at the number 17, which is the answer to the problem he figured out when the original word problem was read 20 MINUTES AGO!!!!

Some days he makes me laugh - some days he makes me cry! Ah, homeschooling motherhood!