I am currently reading a book to discuss with my small group called Heroes of the Holy Life. It is a collection of biographies of men and women distinguished as "fully devoted followers of Christ". What strikes me first and foremost in the biographies is that these devotees were just that - devoted. Christ was at the center.
It seems to me lately that I have been so busy spinning in circles, fighting against change, panicking over the unknown, licking my wounds - that Christ has gotten somewhat off-center in my life. I was so blessed last night - after finding myself interally spewing and occasionally allowing it to spill out externally - to get an email from someone I trusted very much encouraging me to recognize the foothold that Satan is surely getting both in my heart, and in the lives of my family. Today was a victorious day of waging war against the enemy. Recognition, repentance and a cry for help were all it required.
This morning as I was reading the brief biography of Oswald Chambers (author of My Utmost for His Highest), a man whose writings have deeply inspired me, I read this: "...Glory be to God, the last aching abyss of the human heart is filled to overflowing with the love of God. Love is the beginning, love is the middle, and love is the end. After He comes in, all you see is 'Jesus only. Jesus ever.' When you know what God has done for you, the power and the tyranny of sin are gone and the radiant unspeakable emancipation of the indwelling Christ has come."
Christ has gotten off center because He hasn't been the beginning, middle and end. He hasn't been my only, because my focus has been on ME and not HIM. The aching abyss of my human heart was filled with Him more today than yesterday - and I know no matter how big the ache gets - His supply of love and His ability to fill it up is limitless.