Homeschool High Horse

I rarely get on my soapbox about homeschooling. I feel that it is important to respect the place that each person is - even if I don't agree with it. I do believe the best place for kids is at home, but I also believe in being gracious. If someone asks directly for my opinion, I will give it. If they ask for advice, I will share my heart.
But tonight.......what I am about to say is unsolicited ranting.... feel free to peruse other more politically correct blogs.
My nephew is here. We decided to let our kids throw a party while he was here - an in-between Christmas and New Years thing. They invited ALL of their friends - from two homeschool groups, and a teen girl neighbor.
The neighbor came over looking upset about something, little brother in-tow (even though I said it wasn't a good idea for him to come), and proceeded to sit, snuggling up under a blanket on the front porch swing with the nephew (who has a girlfriend) all night. Kendra kept going out on the porch to invite them to play games, cards, and somehow join the party. They kept saying, "we don't fit in at this party".
It is probably hard to fit in at a party when you don't even physically attend. They decided to keep physical distance from all party-goings, and then tried to turn it around on the other "homeschooled" kids. This strongly suggests to me - that public school kids *gasp* are the ones in need of some social skills. Since it wasn't their personal friends, they couldn't find a way to mingle, join in, and have fun.
The party was great fun - too bad they missed it.

The Fun House

Growing up with a mother who was sanity-challenged (is that the politically correct way to say she was nuts?) my life as a teenager was very small, and dark, and difficult and revolved around her moods, whether manic or depressed, who she hated or loved, and sometimes something as simple as what side of the bed she woke up on, whether or not her coffee was the right temperature, or if her ashtray was clean (an OCD issue). I lived in a house where we hid when someone knocked on the door. I seldom had friends over, and when I did, my mom would use the opportunity to cause me more shame and anger than it was worth. Living like this is quite miserable. I would see other people that got together on weekends, or had parties and events at their house and it seemed I always lived on the outside edges of those moments that make all the rest of life more bearable - the laughter, enjoyment and company of friends. I promised myself when I grew up and had my own kids and my own home, I would have an open door policy. I wanted my house to be a place where the kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang out. I wanted our home to be the place where people would gather. I wanted people to just love being there - no matter what. When my neighbor comes by for a cup of coffee, I set aside the chore I was in the middle of and invest 30 minutes into her life. When my kids' friends want to come by - I almost never say no. Tonight a neighborhood boy came by while Kaitlyn and Kullen and I sat on the porch playing Clue in the cool night air. A little while later, Michael stopped by even though he knew Kendra was at work, and joined in. I popped a huge bowl of popcorn and we drank iced tea and watched A Nightmare Before Christmas (poor Kendra - we missed her!). There was no pre-planning - people showed up and we made room in our lives for them and it was a super evening. It makes my heart so happy that people like to be here. I am also so thankful for a husband that never minds how many people are sitting at the dinner table or lounging in the living room. No more hiding. No more shame. I am living in the fun house!!!! (and often the nut house!) Come on over!

Redneck or What?

I have to ask a question of my discerning friends. My house and yard is slightly difficult to describe. It is the "side" of our house that faces the road. I stood in my neighbor's yard to take this first picture. Technically the part of the house to the left of the frame is the "front" of the house - and the "side" of the house faces the road here. There used to be a road in the front of this house when the house was built somewhere between 80 - 100 years ago, that is no longer there which is why it is sideways. The only porch/deck/entrance to the outside of the house is the two doors that walk out onto the "L-shaped" porch. We finally bought the kids a trampoline to replace the one that we gave away before moving from WV - and put it up today. I had a dilemma - I could put it up in the back yard - in the hot sun, a pretty good walk from the house - OR just to the left of the house, here, which may somewhat appear to be the front yard. I need to know if this looks trashy. This would fall into the category my mom would call "rednecky". The bottom picture is the view from the road. If you look to the left of this picture that was taken from our road - you can see the trampoline behind a large bush and nestled underneath a couple of trees.
I like this placement for a couple of reasons: First, it is in the shade and the kids can possibly enjoy it even on the hottest days. Second, it is a long trek out to the back yard - which would most definitely keep Kullen from wanting to use it on his own. Third, I can sit on the porch and see them on the trampoline, as well as from my desk which is just inside the porch window.
What do you think? Honest opinions. Remember we live in the country and not a curb and guttered subdivision. I know these things aren't that important - and when it comes down to it - I will leave it in the place that most pleases the 5 of us that live here and use it - but I have to know what people think when they see it. Thanks!

Mom Advice Needed on Playmates

Living in a neighborhood is a new situation for me as a mom. My children's only playmates used to come to our house because there was an arrangement between the parents to transport the children from one home to another – and there was always an understanding of when the playmates would arrive and when they would leave. Living in a neighborhood has provided a constant stream of companions for my 9 year old son, and at times for my teenaged daughters. There is boy who is here from the second he gets off the school bus until we make him go home – eating dinner with us many nights, and on the weekend he is here in the morning as soon as he chokes down a bowl of cereal. While we enjoy this much of the time, it also starts to wear on you after a while having the door to your house always open with a steady stream of traffic. For instance, this afternoon, my husband who has not been feeling well is attempting to take a nap on the couch – and we just want peace and quiet, and privacy. I honestly don't know what to do. We took the boy to church with us this morning, and dropped him off at home afterwards, and only a few short minutes he was at our house again. I sent him home because my children had some yardwork I wanted them to do, and a short while later he was back. I am not sure where the language barrier is, or where the communication is breaking down.

One thing for certain is that this boy has some emotional issues. Whenever I tell him no about something, he sulks and pouts. I have started to tell him that if he is feeling that he is unable to be with us and enjoy the company, then he can go home. Even after being told no, he will repeatedly ask me something – which is behavior I do not tolerate from my own children, and provokes my son to ask things again to which he has already been given an answer. (Kullen's own fault – but the point is that he is a bad influence in this way.)

Every single weekend he asks to sleep over. I am going to say something that may be unpopular with some parents – but I HATE SLEEPOVERS – especially when kids are young. This particular boy lives only a block away – and I let him stay and play until late – but don't understand the need for him to sleep here at our house. It makes bedtime miserable. It makes the morning chaotic. I am also guarding my son from the late night "chats", and other opportunities for negative influence. I also think that it is rude for him to ask - and have told him if we want to invite him for a sleepover, Kullen and I will discuss that. He seems to have no understanding of how this works, so I try to be patient.

I am really feeling at a loss. I know that it may seem simple – just tell the boy to go home. But, I want to share the love of Christ with him as well. I am just struggling to establish some well-defined boundaries. Any suggestions would be appreciated!