A Monday Morning Rant About Freedom

Last night the kids and I watched the movie "Martian Child". It was the story of an eccentric little boy in the foster care system who thought he was from Mars. It was a very neat story, and I won't share it all, but one quote - the moment the adoptive father, who is a writer gets how the boy feels all the time when his publisher tells him, "Why can't you be who we want you to be!?" This left me thinking.....
People are so intimidated by freedom, especially when you give it to your kids. So many people don't want children to have a say on anything in their lives. It seems the whole world is convinced that when left to themselves, they will all go down the wrong path. I have to assert that isn't so. In fact, I've seen far too many kids sprung from the restrictions of their parents home, and do more damage in the first year or two away from that rule oriented, authoritarian environment than they could've done in all the other years collectively. It seems to me, if they understood that this life was their own, and not something they were being forced to live to the standards and approval of others aside from God, would they not perhaps being given this freedom, guard that life, and care about their future all the more? Then, even if they make mistakes or do things we don't wish them to do, they can claim them as their own and not look at them as "disappointing the folks".
I know I have a long way to go here, and it isn't as if there aren't things, boundaries of mutual respect, and safety issues in our home, there are. Just yesterday one of my kids walked to a restaurant on the highway to get some change without letting me know - and I went ballistic, because it scared me. I am not saying"it's all good" or being morally relative. I am saying that kids need some breathing room. Don't set them up with so many rules that they are destined to mess up.
Why does allowing children freedom upset some people so much? I can't tell you how many times at a church potluck I've had people come to tell me that my middle daughter was only having dessert, or any of a number of other things that are trivial to me when it comes to raising my kids. I want them to be honest, loving, kind, compassionate - eating cake and playing with sticks are areas where we throw caution to the wind.
Childhood is only once people. Let your children out of the cage.

We Mean it for Good

I was talking with a friend this afternoon about the product of legalism in parenting. I have seen overly strict parents, who have their child's absolute best at heart, often inadvertently send their child into wild rebellion. I knew a family with seven children who were all raised without television, without radio, never allowed to go to the "show", the girls weren't allowed to wear make-up, nobody was allowed to date, they couldn't so much as take a step without a measuring stick determining whether or not the length of their stride was appropriate. These kids had clean faces, and clean hands, but their hearts longed for contamination. All seven of them got out of their parents home and have no interest whatsoever for the things of the Lord, who in their experience would restrict their intake of oxygen.
I have also seen parents whose desire was to turn their children's hearts to celibacy and purity- and instead gave their children an aversion to the opposite sex, eventually giving in to a preference for their own gender.
The enemy is watching us. If he can't use our shortcomings as individuals to contaminate our children, he will attempt to use what we intend for good and pervert it. I have not reached the end of my parenting years, and don't claim to know everything, but on the most basic level, I trust that the God who brought my heart out of a very dysfunctional childhood, to having a heart that seeks Him and strives to please Him in all that I do to lead my children as well. I don't have to make a "rule" about every little thing. I can show love and grace just as the Father has shown me.

Dinnertime Discussion

Every night after dinner we use a book called ONE YEAR of Family Devotions to share God's word with our kids. Some nights the devotions are awesome and the stories really drive the point home, while other times they are a bit cheesy. Last night's devotion brought on an unexpected discussion. The verses used were from I Cor.3 about not being wise according to the world's standards. The story was about a boy named Rob and his dad, sitting on their deck, lit by the glow of a bug zapper. Rob confesses to his dad that he has been smoking. He says he realized looking at the bug zapper that in the same way the bugs while attracted to the light were being drawn toward their demise, that he was attracted to things that were harmful to him. Neat little story - until we started to discuss it.
It just so happened that as we were starting this discussion, still sitting at the table full of dirty dishes, that our dining room was filling up with teenagers from our neighborhood. Two of them just happened to stop by as we were starting our devotion. Maybe a God thing?
For the sake of conversation, I threw out the question whether or not "smoking" itself was a sin. I had no answers, I wanted to know what everybody, including my husband was thinking. Some thoughts were that it was a personal conviction. We talked about how your body was the temple for the Holy Spirit - but then how would smoking cigarettes, something that is harmful with no benefit to your body be any different than say, eating margarine which is supposedly one molecule away from plastic, and also harmful with no benefit.
I am an ex-smoker. I used to have times when I first quit smoking that I was repulsed and craved a cigarette at the same time. Now I'm pretty much repulsed by the smell. When I stopped smoking, it was a personal conviction - I felt that God was asking me to lay them down - because they were my crutch. I shared this - a distinct reason that cigarettes becoming an idol, as I made smoking the place I turned when I was stressed or lonely or bored, was a sin for me. Or how disobeying your parents, if they have told you not to smoke is the sin of disobedience. But is smoking in and of itself a sin? This was what we tossed around for about half an hour.
I explained to the kids that on a non-spiritual level - just as a health issue, staying away from cigarettes was a very wise decision from a healthy living standpoint. I have to admit, it makes me a little uncomfortable as a mother not to give my teenagers pat answers for things like this. It seems easier and safer just to tell them that everything is a "sin" that I am personally convicted about and settle the issue, but I find that I am not teaching them to live in relationship with the Lord, listening to His voice and learning to heed the direction of the Holy Spirit in their own lives.
I don't have an answer as to whether or not smoking is a sin. For me it would be because I would be disobeying a specific conviction. As far as respecting our bodies as the temples of the Holy Spirit, what about poor posture, bad sleep habits, unhealthy diets, etc. etc. etc. Would we call these things sin as well?
What are your thoughts?

A Contest for All Bloggers

When Goofy Girl got my template looking all spiffy, I got so excited that I wanted to share the love. I talked it over with her and she is giving me a price break on a jazzy new template for the winner of my very first ever contest! My new friend Fatty inspired the idea because I found that she collects quotations too - we'll have a quotation contest!

The rules are:

1. Post your favorite quote to your blog by midnight on Saturday March 31st, in an entry entitled "Quirky Quote Qontest Entry" and link to it using "Mr. Linky" below.
   Your quote may be from anywhere - a song, movie, book, famous speech. The quote can be political, religious, politically incorrect, and otherwise controversial - but please keep it family friendly. (Hey - my kids and friends kids occasionally read this blog! They are usually bored to tears - but sometimes they read and even comment!) The quotes do not have to be quirky as the contest name suggests.
   
2. PLEASE READ OTHER ENTRIES PRIOR TO SUBMISSION - the second submission of same quote will not be eligible.
   
3. I will host a voting time from April 1^st – 6^th – so come back and vote for your favorite quotes.
4. Post on your blog and put up a button if you like about the “qontest” and tell others to come and enter – if they comment here (on this post) and mention that you sent them I will add another point to your entry and tally it as another vote.
   
5. You may enter this contest twice - every other contest says only once, but why be like the rest! So a two quote limit for you - but please post them as separate entries for my sake!
   
6. Contest winner will be announced on Saturday, April 7^th.
   

The winner will be notified and put in contact with Goofy Girl to get your template tweaked! She said she would do a 2 or 3 column template - and she is a dream to work with. She is a med student by day and a jazzy template spiffer-upper by night! I know whoever wins will enjoy it so much!

I'll get you started with my current favorite quote from the movie Man of the Year:

I have a glorious love-hate relationship with TV. TV scares me. It makes everything seem credible. If everything seems credible, then nothing seems credible. TV puts everybody in those boxes side by side. On one side, there’s this certifiable lunatic that says the holocaust never happened, and next to him is this noted, honored historian who knows all about the holocaust, and now there they sit, side by side. They look like equals. Everything they say seems to be credible – and so as it goes on nothing seems credible anymore. We just stop listening!

-Man of the Year

If you have any questions about this contest please comment here or send me an email at julientexas at sbcglobal dot net.

Happy Quoting!

PLEASE BE SURE TO USE MR. LINKY TO LINK TO THE CONTEST ENTRY POST - AND NOT JUST TO YOUR BLOG IN GENERAL. IT IS VERY TIME CONSUMING TO HUNT THESE ENTRIES DOWN! THANKS