Counting Armadillos a/k/a "Be Quiet James!"

Gosh - have you ever noticed how some people are so good at calling a spade a spade! Don't you sometimes just hate and love them at the same time for it!? Well, our friend James, sort of like a father figure who isn't old enough to be your father kicked my butt with the comment on my last post. I know it was God who put our family here - it was He who has done the leading and us the following all along. Why can't I trust Him for the smaller things? Sell my house that I prayed 10 years to have, pep talk my children all the way across 1500 miles, and as a child of divorce who moved and changed schools more than I care to mention - I let go of the sense of security living in the same area and developing long term friendships had given me. I trusted God for each step of the way - but now I'm here, and I grow fainthearted at times. Yes, I was whining. I was having a very bad night. Travis is sick and hopped up on about all the cold medicine I can legally give him, and in a total fog. If you talk to him, you get a "Huh?" snort, sniffle cough cough cough. No excuses though - butt adequately kicked and a swift step back in line. The strangest thing is that deep in my heart is a dream of going on the mission field - and while it is possibly a fantasy, doing something like telling people about Jesus seems more important to make such a sacrifice for than the reasons I came to Texas, which was NOT to count armadillos. (BTW I've only seen one!) I promised Travis I wouldn't look back - I would make a life here with him. Please Lord help me, because I am not having any success on my own! (duh! same lesson for the 7,894,348,397,573,032, 577,378,173, 234,093th time!)