25 April 2009

One Day at a Time

In this healing process that the kids and I are going through, there seem to be stops and starts. One thing for certain is that I have to keep a check on how busy I allow myself to be, as sort of a self-preservation method. If I am constantly on the go go go and busily doing this, that and the other, there is little time to think about all that is happening.
I get anxious when I think beyond this current time period. If I try to let my mind wander even six months down the road, I become preoccupied with where I want to be - physically, emotionally, in life, in the healing process. It overwhelms me, and so like the "take action" kind of girl that I am, I start trying to develop a plan on how to get there. This is never productive, specifically because I don't know how to get there. All I know is that this day, and this moment are a gift from God, and He is helping me through it.
I don't want anyone to get the impression that I'm falling apart. I have my moments. Certain things still have the ability to bring me to my knees. I am still quite capable of tears, but I know there will come a day when I'll be stronger. God is daily teaching me that His grace is sufficient for me this day. If I can stay focused on that, it is a good day.
I heard about a divorce care group at a local church, and I am thinking about joining. I haven't decided yet. I think it could be pretty toxic, and have no desire to sit around and listen to a bunch of ex-bashing. So, if I check it out it will be by sticking my toe in and testing the waters. I also want to be extremely careful - the circumstances of my situation have the opportunity to paint me the victim. I have no desire to be such.
There is this learning curve. I know that I never had a partner in life before, and that instead of carrying part of the load, I had an extra burden and a force beating me down, literally and figuratively that handicapped me. There is a peace amidst the chaos. I know we're going to be alright. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, hand in hand with my Papa.


  1. "God is daily teaching me that His grace is sufficient for me this day. If I can stay focused on that, it is a good day."

    You've been given the secret of serenity, Juls. I hope you can hang on to this belief. Love, Allison

  2. I know it's easy for me to say from where I sit, but your are moving Forward, to a much better place. I looked back and 2 months ago you were living in Texas getting ready to move! From the outside looking in Sweet Julie you are moving forward. Keep moving and looking up!!!

  3. Juls, I wish I could go, go, go. My neck disease demands that I rest a lot.

    I do encourage you to at least try the divorce support group. If it's God-centered, perhaps it could focus on forgiving your ex and loving yourself. Wouldn't it be great to be in a group striving for that goal?

    You've had a healthy attitude so far so I have no doubt that you'll quickly know if the group is right for you. Take care ~ Allison


Awaiting your words......
♥ Juls ♥