One Foot in Front of the Other

The last few days have been an endless procession of resumes, online applications, faxing of pertinent documents and driving and driving and driving from place to place to place following lead after lead after lead, and chauffeuring around an unemployed husband who also happens to be quite sick. I have recited his social security number forwards and backwards and possibly at one point while standing on my head. I have schmoozed and used every bit of my womanly charms - which if you know me means I had to borrow a little from a real woman somewhere else! We basically still know nothing - but in the midst of total exhaustion, and a ton of frenetic energy that is driving us, there have been some pretty cool moments.....

• uninterrupted conversation with my husband, including a cheap-o lunch at Taco Bell - the most fascinating part of which was learning in great detail all about different types of welding - and I'm not being sarcastic
• whistling at him as he walked across the parking lot to put in an application and watching him walk a little taller, even though he turned around and said, "yeah right!"
• filling out an application for him, and having him say "it must be hard to live with me" - and knowing that it is, but he must be worth it
• hearing him tell the man at the Veteran's branch at the employment office that I was his best asset

This morning I was in such a panic that I just wanted to give up - throw in the towel - go back to bed and pull the covers over my head - lay down and die. Throughout the day my perspective has changed as I have had a really good day with my husband. It is like the Lord has tried to stop my world from spinning, directed one foot to step out in front of the other, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out .......... even these days of turmoil are full of abundant life.

Torture or a Godly Shove

Travis called me this morning. "I have bad news" he says. In my wisdom, I know that nothing following this line can be good - however, there are varying degrees of bad. In the past he has said this cause he got a ticket, or needs to buy new tires, or the price of gas went up. Today, the bad news was at the highest degree of bad.
He. got. laid. off.
I didn't see this coming - and that made the bad news even worse.
Our financial situation is already suffocating, having depleted what we had saved as he has made less than what was anticipated when we moved.
But, God is indeed in control.
Travis is the kind of guy that likes his comfort zone, more than most. He hates change. He has a long list of things he doesn't want to do. He has been talking for a couple of months now about going back into welding, but Mr. Comfort Zone often needs a huge shove to go from point A to point B.
I am trying to look at this situation as a godly shove.
In fact it can be a blessing in disguise. I have questioned the Lord before during times of unemployment and what on earth He was doing - when I had been so faithfully praying that He would give Travis a better job - and clearly heard His voice speak into my spirit "how did you expect Me to give him another job when he still had one?"
So I'm holding onto that.
And I'm thankful for the lessons my kids have learned during this time. When a lot of kids would be wheezing and whining about how this might effect their Christmas - my amazing kids were wrapping their arms around us, praying with us, and encouraging their parents. Kullen did wonder how we're going to eat which I think is quite practical. Suddenly an AK47 Airsoft Gun that was at the top of his list is not a major priority. Good kids. Lots of blessings. I'm counting them instead of the digits in my bank balance today.