Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts

12 August 2008

Back to School - or Not

This is the time of the year when young men return to football practice. (I fondly remember those hot sweaty afternoons in junior high when my friends and I would show up at the school just to sit for a few hours and watch the boys we liked slam themselves into one another and throw a pigskin around.)
School supplies are all at a premium discount. Clothing racks and sales fliers point the way to the latest fashions. I keep reading about this "back to school" stuff. My friends Kate and Tina both recently posted their thoughts on going back to school.
I love new beginnings, and back-to-school time is one of those "fresh start" seasons. In WV this is a part of "fall" that I miss the most. A few weeks after school starts, the air gets crisper and starts to smell of the coming winter and apple cider.
But I don't miss traditional school, school-at-home homeschooling, or coerced learning. I don't miss planning quarterly lessons only to have to revamp them the first week we try to use them. I don't miss being frustrated with my kids when they aren't "getting it". I don't miss the days of laboring to make something work that wasn't working. I don't miss reading books that nobody was interested in because we had to finish our curriculum. I don't miss spending money on things we never used. I don't miss being the drill sergeant, task master hovering over my kids and meting out punishment or consequences for unfinished tasks. I don't miss the endless hours of perusing curriculum, hoping to find the magic fix for all the things I couldn't seem to get to stick inside of my kids heads. I don't miss waking up in the morning with a knot in my throat because of all that the day would require, and my impotencies to mete it all out.
I love learning with the gentle rhythms of life. I love the breathe in, breathe out style of learning. I love seeing all the real opportunities that life affords for learning.
Soon the buses will be traversing up and down our road in a frenetic pace. I will sit back and drink my coffee, waving lovingly and saddened for childhoods wasting away in rooms with artificial light and canned air, institutionalized. I will wave goodbye to the gift of days and hours and minutes they can't get back.
No more school for me. I am a life long learner.
Oh yeah, my kids too.

06 July 2008

School Stories

My kids love it when my husband and I tell stories of things that happened in the past, things we did as kids, things they did. Earlier today we were sitting around the table after a late lunch, and we were telling them how when we were in school you couldn't talk, virtually anywhere. I know that we could talk quietly at lunch, but if it got too loud we would lose the privilege. I even remember one school among the 20+ that I attended where there was no talking on the playground!
I told the kids a story of myself in the 1st or 2nd grade - sitting at the lunch table with a group of classmates. Some lemon-sucking faced teacher came over to the table and said, "This table is being too noisy!" As she walked away, I slammed my fist down and said, "SHUT UP table!" I spent the rest of lunchtime in the corner of the lunchroom.
The kids thought this story was hilarious! You can see my wit even then! Hardy har har.

07 December 2007

Respect for Children

One of the reasons - one amongst millions we have chosen not to institutionally educate our children, is because of the ability the "system" has to make your children into a number, part of the pack, a face in the crowd. I remember being traumatized in middle school because my pants split all the way down the seam and the teacher would not let me call my mom - in fact she told me to return to my seat. I have seen other kids wet their pants because they were denied a bathroom break, or told they didn't need a drink of water. When you discuss these things with certain people you get the attitude that these kinds of things prepare children for the "real world". I don't know about you, but as an adult, nobody prevents me from using the restroom when I need to, or getting a drink if I'm thirsty. Aside from wanting our children home with us so that we could be their primary influence, and as parents have the opportunity to guide their hearts towards the Lord, we never wanted them to have to endure the humiliation that can be heaped on children who are not thought of as individuals with thoughts, wants, dreams and real physical needs.

Too late.....
I wasn't going to blog about this, but I think I have to since blogging is therapy. I am working on forgiving which was another reason for the hesitancy, feeling that this story will enrage others, and thus fuel the anger, instead of the aiding my quest towards letting go of what could grow into a very large resentment.

My son was sent out of his PE class at co-op the other day. I was surprised to find him sitting in the office when I went into a back office to print off the Mom's Notes newsletter that is one of my duties. He followed me and said, "Mom, I got sent out of PE." I said, "Why?" He said, "Mom, I don't know."
As a mom, I'm thinking that something is missing to this story, but I know my son. I know what he is capable of, and yet, I have also known adults to be unfair, unkind and even *gasp* wrong. I started asking what he was doing. His class was doing some sort of aerobic work out which is very cardiovascular. He said that he started to feel that his chest was tight, so he went to the side and sat out. I asked him if he was disturbing the class, he said no. I asked him if he was doing something the teacher asked him not to do, he said no. About a dozen more questions of everything I could think of that he might have possibly done to deserve the most serious disciplinary action we can take at the co-op - and all answers "no".
Let's back up a bit and clarify that he is severely asthmatic. He was sick the previous week with a cold, getting up in the middle of the night for breathing treatments, and taking his inhaler frequently through the day. The PE coach was informed about this at the beginning of the year, and seemed very agreeable and on board with letting him stop whenever he needed to. I explained to her then that we let HIM say when HE needs a break - we don't qualify it because he is really the only one who knows his body.
Fast forward to this day, I tried to find the coach to discuss this with her. I even called her at home and on her cell phone that evening, and could not reach her. This was Monday, and finally on Wednesday morning, I was able to get in touch with her. Our conversation started with her saying this, "I think we have a spiritual issue here."
I took a deep breath. I hate it when people over-spiritualize everything. We are spiritual beings, and everything we do is spiritual - but there seems to be this hocus-pocus mystical thing that goes on where people weigh and judge one another in this realm. Ugh.
I let her speak. I listened.
My summation of what she said is that she thinks my son uses his asthma to sit out when he doesn't want to do something. I asked if he disturbs the class. No. I asked if he disobeys something when she specifically asks him to do something. No. I asked if he is disrespectful to her. No.
She said on the day in question that he had gone to the side and sat out, and then laid down on the floor. I asked her if she asked him to sit up. She said no, she didn't have time to stop and do that. What she did have time to do was walk over to him and tell him to "get up and go to the office" - and he said she was angry.
She said he sits out when they do something hard - but participates in the things that are fun. I asked her what the hard things were. Aerobics or heavy work-outs. I explained that asthma, being a respiratory illness would respond more severely to these types of things and make his refraining more legitimate - not that I think on any planet near or far, I need to prove this to her.
She said that this has been bothering her all year, and yet she has not said one word to me or Kullen. She hasn't ever said that she thinks he gives up too easy or that he could try harder.
In any case, I am thankful that she did not push him to continue the activity. However, I am very concerned that she feels it is her place to evaluate whether he is having a legitimate issue with his asthma or not.
The coach is a first year homeschool mom. She doesn't really "get" homeschooling yet. She told me she has been very frustrated and feels that homeschooled kids all think they can do what they want, whenever they want, and that they will be ill-prepared for the real world. Again, I refer you to the first paragraph here - where I ask you what bodily functions would be denied, or told we were using chronic illnesses to "get our way", or were forced for that matter to participate in an athletic activity we did not choose. What is "real world" about that?
Anyway - I have talked to the appropriate people, and have a little peace that they are keeping an eye on the situation. But in my heart, I am so frustrated that people get away with treating children in a way we would never treat another adult. I am furious that my son was discriminated against because of an illness, and that someone would think it is their place to assess his "spiritual condition". I am humiliated for him that he was sent without his shoes to sit in an office when I deal with other kids in class throughout the day who are displaying willful disobedience who are at least given a warning. He was sent out without a clue as to what he was doing wrong, and taunted as we went to our car by an obnoxious boy in his class. I feel a bit helpless that as important as this was to me that we were not able to protect him from this kind of situation.
I need to get past this. I know I need to forgive. Any thoughts or suggestions on how I do this? If the same thing had been done to me, I'd be over it already, but do it to my child and we have a different dimension of anger, frustration, and resentment to deal with - the Mama Bear kind.

04 September 2007

What is a REAL Life?

My daughter had a debate with her cousin this weekend which actually left her quite frustrated. He presumed that because she was homeschooled, and didn't have a boyfriend, that she didn't have a life. It is really difficult to tiptoe around these things with family. We have never criticized or ridiculed others in our family when they tell us things that make us think their kids are in "government brainwashing camps", and we sort of expect the same respect in return. Since it wasn't the adults that were saying such, I tried to stay out of it, and let her defend the issues for herself. In the back of my mind, I wonder how many people really think the things he had the nerve to say out loud.
What does a "real" life look like? Somehow our society has come to think of it as 12 years of compulsory education, perhaps 4 years of college, and then a 9 to 5 job until you retire or die. We believe with all of our hearts that there is more to life than that, and have set out with our children to help them follow the path that the Lord has set before them, and the bend that He created in them. I know a bunch of people whose children go to school every day that are still doing this well, but I am talking about the masses. It is so frustrating to be outside of what is considered normal. I find that after all these years, these comments and situations do not make me feel inferior as they used to, but frustrated nonetheless that I will live one day as an elderly person in a society whose majority still thinks that real life is being a part of a system, or that a real life, like populous' favorite processed food comes in a box, eaten on trays in front of the mind-numbing boob tube, and that one size fits all. Yuck.
No thanks. We'll take what's behind door #2.

15 August 2007

Who Says We're Free

Understanding that civilized society has boundaries that individuals must operate within in order for it to remain civilized is one thing, but I think that we have gone a little nutso with rules in our culture. I still believe that those rules could be summed up in the philosophy of the juris naturalis by saying that there are only two standards by which we must life:
1. Do all that you say you will do
2. Do not infringe on another person or their property
These two things would be so simple if it weren't for the sin nature. Ah - what to do about that?
What set me off about the rules thing was opening the newspaper this afternoon to find a three page spread of the local school districts "dress code". Some things make sense - if clothing has offensive language, graphics, illegal activity, etc. it should not be allowed. Body parts being exposed would also be a no-no. I know that all these things can be subjective - but there seems to be a basic understanding of what is okay and what is not. However, where it got to me was when they started listing that clothing could not be frayed, no holes, etc. What about economically-challenged kids who finally found a popular style that they can afford and not feel ashamed? Now the style has been forbidden, and they'll get it from both the teachers and the other kids. There is also a hair length and no covering the ears requirement for boys, as well as a hem-length for girls. What about self-expression? What about individuality? They did more than moderate inappropriate clothing, they are trying to create a homogenous society, where everybody is the same.
I have been offended when someone donning a graphic t-shirt sits across a table from me at a party and there is nowhere else to look. It is disgusting and frightening the things that some people come up with and feel comfortable thrusting upon others. Yet, what scares me more is taking away the individual's right to get up and decide for themselves what to wear that day. I don't know the answer. Think about it like this - what if you think one specific issue - maybe what kids wear to school and how they cut their hair is no big deal, next thing may be much more dear to you. Maybe they'll decide that government institutions are better places to raise children than families? What if the government outlaws reading, and we must form all our ideas from media? Read Farenheit 451. We could easily go there, and it could all start with a hemline and a ban on frayed clothing.

18 July 2007

Instincts and Obligation and an Update

Well, first things first - my husband a/k/a the Fabio version of the computer geek - only without the long hair and without the rest of his body waxed of every hair - managed to get everything (we hope!) off of the hard drive on my computer. Hewlett-Packard is sending me a Fed-Ex box with shipping paid so I can send it to their repair center. I hope that we get this problem eradicated before the 1 year warranty of the darn thing is up. It must be something special about me - I do indeed have the opposite of the Midas Touch when it comes to electronic devices.

Now on to my regularly scheduled thoughts this evening:
Right now it is 10:15 pm, and Kendra decided a short while ago that she wanted to make a Chai cake she found in a recipe book yesterday - the chai flavor being her favorite and all. She asked if she could - and I hate to say it but I really struggled to say yes. You see, I am learning to live free - and accept that my kids need to live in freedom in order to blossom into the individuals that God made them to be. For Kendra, her optimum, peak-performance time is night. It has been since she was a baby. What upsets me is that I have to fight everything in myself so hard to allow them this freedom. I don't want a mess, or the noise, or the questions that will come with baking an unfamiliar recipe. But what my daughter needs to do is create - try her hand at something new. I grew up with an early bedtime, waking up every morning to the demands of an alarm clock or someone else's idea of what I should do and when, making my bed before I left my room, and following "the plan". This is very responsible, and there are likely quite a few of you reading this thinking, "what on earth does she think is wrong with that?" This routine may create an obedient, well-regulated, societally oriented person, but it will never facilitate the extraordinary. When I was in high school my life was school and work. I was a talented writer - but my homework assignments, even in the creative writing class that I loved, were delegated to an item to cross of the never-ending list of things that I was obligated to do. There was no joy, no searching out the world around me with wonder.
I watch television shows like the Gilmore Girls and see the college bound Rory that I adore, however, I find it supremely unrealistic. Rory is involved in about a zillion extra-curricular activities, has breakfast every morning before catching the bus with her mother at the local diner, participates in everything that is going on in the community, has a boyfriend, a best friend and reads constantly - not light reading either - Russian authors, and classics like Shakespeare, all while maintaining a grade point average to keep her at the top of her class. I am sorry but no real human can maintain all of that - but yet most of our society models their lives after what they see on the boob tube. I imagine many families watch the Gilmore Girls and feel inferior because their kids and families aren't doing all of that.
What I want is to create space in our lives for my kids to grow, branch out, try their wings. It is counter to everything I have ever learned. It reminds me of learning to breathe - it should come naturally - but when we are anxious or under pressure - we tend to hold our breath. I have been holding my breath my whole life waiting to learn this lesson - for them and for me. It is what unschooling is about - inhale - exhale - inhale - exhale.

16 July 2007

Some "School" Stats

I don't post about "unschooling" much, per se, because it is a philosophy of life. There aren't lesson plans, lists to cross off, or things to do. We learn as we live - so in that sense I guess I am posting about it all the time. Today, I was listening to the news as I was getting dinner in the oven, and heard this statistic - that school children forget as much as 60% of what they learned the year before over the summer vacation. The reporter was suggesting that parents find opportunities to sneak "learning" into their children's summer fun. There are also those who are "school/education nazis" that would have children going to institutionalized schools all year long in order to help them retain what they are learning. I want to be slow to criticize because I used to think much like this. I am so thankful that I know my children are learning all the time through life and living.

06 June 2007

I Don't Get It!

I know that the woman that just said this meant nothing sinister by it, but it made me scratch my head as I was leaving. I just dropped Kullen off at VBS at the church closest to our house. As I was leaving, one lady was saying to another, "There's nothing like 3 hours of free babysitting for your kids, huh?" I just don't get it. The public schools in our area just let out. Once the rounds of Vacation Bible Schools are over, these same women will be saying, "Oh, I can't wait for school to start again! These kids are driving me crazy!" Why do people have children? They are going to be children. As a homeschool mom, this is completely counter to my thinking - I hate it when my children are away. Yes, even on the days when they drive me crazy, I wouldn't want them anywhere else. Call me weird, say I can't cut the cord, act like I have attachment disorder - I don't care. This is where God has called me to keep them - and I will tarry on in spite of the mentality that children are something to "get rid of" that swirls all around me. I know a adult that told me once that their mother said often during their childhood, "I can't wait until you kids are grown!" and even at their age it still hurts. The message they got was that they were an inconvenience keeping her from the life SHE wanted to have. What parent doesn't lay aside some of their own plans and dreams to raise their children? I am still scratching my head. I just don't get it!

03 October 2005

Funny Things Kids Say - "School" Dream

Kullen usually gets up and gets into bed with me when Travis gets out of bed to get ready for work in the mornings - sometimes his daddy is still there and he just wedges in between us. This morning was one of those mornings. He cuddled up to me in a half-asleep state and in a slightly amused voice said, "Mom -- I dreamed last night that I went to school!" I said, "You did? Did you like it?" "No," he said, "All we did all day was sit around on a bed." I opened my eyes now, and looked at him, slightly concerned that this child really had NO idea what "school" was like. I said, "Kully, have you ever seen a school before?" To which he condescendingly replied, "Yes mom!" So I tried to make my point, "They don't have beds in school." At this point he was really worried about me, so he explained, "Mom, it was a DREAM!"

Another funny point about this early morning conversation is that last night when I was reading The Magician's Nephew to him, something in the story triggered a conversation wherein I was explaining to him how adults often lose their ability to use their imagination! HA! Caught me!