I want to pack my car and just drive away.
I don't want to figure things out. I don't want to make phone calls. I don't want to try and figure out the unemployment system. I don't want to assist my husband in finding a job. I don't want to talk to the water, electric, phone companies and work out arrangements again. I don't want to be the only one it seems that cares if we eat next week.
I really don't want to be a wife or mother right now either - and that is rare for me since it is all I really ever wanted out of life. I just don't want to take care of one other living thing and be responsible to solve everybody's problems.
I don't want to juggle a budget, plan a menu, clean a toilet, wash laundry, remind people do to their chores or make phone calls, take down a Christmas tree, or sweep a room. I just want to quit everything.
In 20 minutes this feeling will probably go away. In fact just writing it out makes me feel a little wee bit better.
This is real people. Blogs don't get any more raw than this.
Update: Shortly after writing this, I directed all my frustration into completely cleaning out my kitchen. Therapeutic housekeeping! Thanks for all the love.
Yep, I know the feeling, we are in a lot of the same situations financially. Jason has a good job now but it's still going to take a long time to get out of the hole. Now they went and switched his paychecks to every 2 weeks and he was sick and missed work and, and, and, I don't feel like calling the water and sewer people either...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry tht you are dealing with all this. I am sending Canadian hugs and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteJane
I have tried to quit numerous times but "everything" always finds me and drags me back :)
ReplyDeleteSorry you are having a blah time. Hang in their girlfriend!(and I typed that with a JJ twang so please read it as such)Things will look brighter soon.
I'll run away with you! Where should we go? :o)
ReplyDeleteWe all have days like this I think. Sorry you're having one right now.
ReplyDeleteYou & me. Paris. Your cozy, warm, eclectic room, my bare zen room, our own apartment. Pizza delivery. No Christmas tree. No husbands, children OR grandchildren. Movies, books, music and good food. Our apartment is too small for a kitchen, we are gonna have to get take out every night. :) Love you.
ReplyDeleteFeeling for you Jules. Stay at home mom's sometimes get the brunt of things, in my thinkings. Sucks for sure.
ReplyDeleteTina