Can I be a little controversial? I know how tragic the loss was on September 11th, 2001. It was a terrible day that none of us will soon forget - of unbelievable proportions. I know we should continue with reverence and love to remember those that are lost. For those who had loved ones that lost their lives on that day, how could they ever forget? What I wonder at is the tributes that seem to be turning into an annual funeral, and how healthy it is for people to have this event as an emotional axis for their lives. Instead of a memorial, it has become a yearly mass scab removal. I wonder how healing will ever take place for these families that make the pilgrimage to Ground Zero every year.
I have never had a loss quite as shocking as the loss of loved ones at the hands of terrorists. I am not sure if there is maybe a piece that I am missing experientially to be able to fully identify with what these who have been left behind need - perhaps an annual opportunity to gather together with others who experienced the same loss and grieve together is a very important part of that healing. I lost my grandparents 16 years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter - both very suddenly and 3 days apart. I miss them. Sometimes it makes me cry and sometimes I want to talk about them and remember their lives, but I know that it would finish me off if we had to relive their funeral every year on the anniversary of their deaths. In my heart I memorialize them. They live on in me and I will never forget, but in order to continue to live, my life could not be engulfed by their deaths.
I am concerned that these families will get stuck where evil touched their lives, and that the lives of those who were lost that day will pale in comparison to how they died.
12 September 2007
Sad Anniversary
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I have never experienced something like this but I did have a thought.
ReplyDeleteOne of the really hard things for these people is the lack of closure. They were never (most of them) given a body to bury. Just a memorial service but never an actual funeral and burial. They don't have a grave side to visit. When I lost all the babies we lost, most of them I never had anything to bury. No bodies, and even the ones that were buried there was no funeral. I find that I need to go to the memorial site at the cemetary on the anniversaries of loosing them. I need to acknowledge their very existance. It has been part of the healing. It was hard not having the closure of a funeral. I don't know if it is the same for these families? Just a thought. As I said, I have no first hand experience to go on.
I would rather focus on life than death, especially tragic death (although isn't all death kind of tragic?).
ReplyDeleteMy m-i-l died 5 years ago. We've only visited her grave once since the day of her funeral. I ask my husband if he wants to... but he says no. He'd rather remember her in our memories-- her LIFE-- rather than trying to imagine her in that grave.
I suppose it is different for everyone.
I hope when I die, that people won't memorialize the day I died or anything like that. Just think of me sometimes and smile. And make sure that you've accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour... so we can meet again one day. Now THAT would make me a happy dead person! (I know, that sounds terrible when you're talking about 9/11 in a roundabout kind of way, but it is true.)
Ya know, I had a weird reaction yesterday. I was kind of miffed because it seemed as if no one even knew what day it was. No one cared. I cannot speak for those who have lost loved ones, because I hope I will never understand the process they have to go through. However, I do wonder about all the people who were never recovered? Some people are grave side visitors, know what I mean? Our family is not that way, but I know some are. I can't say that I would or wouldn't feel compelled to make the voyage each year. You have got me thinking.
ReplyDeleteWhat I think is most disturbing is that around here it was like any other day. I mean it is any other day, but it is so important that we not forget what happened to our country. I do believe there will be more terrorist attacks in America in the future and I think people are going to be just as shocked and unprepared as we were on 9/11 because you know how it goes...we can lose sight over time. Imagine when people lose sight over time about the magnitude of God's sacrifice. Thanks for the good food fo thought!
Remember people for who they are and what they did in life! Learn from them the things that are good and wise! Love them and pass their legacy on!
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