I heard this song yesterday that had a line in the chorus, "it's hard to say it, hard to say it, goodbye, goodbye". A few months ago, the sadness would've carried me on that chorus into another new wave of grief. It was different yesterday.
I also got an email from a friend telling me that she missed me and would do anything just to spend a day together again. I feel the same, but the feeling didn't make me sad, I just let myself feel it and it was okay.
I was telling a new friend who is also struggling with being new in this area that it seems that there were huge waves of grief not long ago that would come up to your neck and knock you over. Those same waves are now only waist high, and sometimes only lap at my ankles.
I had a 45 minute drive by myself to the Mom's Meeting at our new co-op, with my new Casting Crowns CD. The ladies at the co-op meeting prayed together over some pretty serious needs, but have a genuine respect and love for one another that is palpable in the room. I was overwhelmed with emotion as I realized how much I want to be friends with some of them. It is a place I thought my heart would never go again. On the way home, I felt so healed of so much, and worshipped there in my mini-van like I haven't in a while.
Oh how I understand those waves of grief! I know you will make some great and life long friends there in Texas. God always gives us what we need, even friends. But he doesn't always give it when we want it or think that we need it.
ReplyDeleteHannah and I are leaving in just a few minutes for a homeschool picnic. Most of the people who signed up have younger children but I noticed a few teens. We are praying for and seeking some friends here. There are a lot of homeschoolers in the area but it seems most of them are elementary age children. As large as this city is, there surely must be some homeschooled teens!
Stretching and growing. He's such a sweet balm for our wounded hearts.
ReplyDeletePraising God for the healing He has done in your heart over the past year! Those waves do get smaller, though I am finding myself wondering if they ever stop? I know I have been surprised to find that things that dissolved me into floods of tears a couple of months ago, now just make my eyes a bit misty. Praise God for the way He heals our pain! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful for this post.(We weren't all that great anyway!) I love seeing your heart turning to Texas. I think I feel a country song coming on.
ReplyDeleteWithin the Body of Christ, we never are alone. I love the instant-connection you feel with other Believers! You can be world's apart in interests and habits and yet our hearts are bound together!
ReplyDeleteMy beloved's job has moved us around a bit but all of these years later, I can look back and see something special or someone special in every place we've lived. I came to the conclusion long ago that God has a job for us to do and people to minister to. Relocating was the tool to get us there!
Have a blessed day!
Connie
PS
ReplyDeleteHave you heard that Beth Moore is coming to San Antonio in August of 2008? I am SO excited!
Connie
WoW! What a revelation and a real indication of growth. It is awesome how God prepared you to walk through this period in your life and be able to identify your growth. So Awesome!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are making new friends and making TX your home. =)
Makes me want to bust out into song...
ReplyDelete"Make new friends but keep the old One is silver and the other gold" Thats all I remember. A google search shows that this is an old girl scout song, in case you are unfamiliar with it :)
reading that brought tears to my eyes! I am so happy for the healing God is bringing to your heart!
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