Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
24 October 2007
Fake and Phony
The girls went to youth group with Michael tonight. Every time they go they come home with the same complaints, that certain people are phony. People don't talk to them, or they act differently. Michael said the same. He has friends he has known for a long time there that in the last year or two have just started to act so differently toward him. I am crazy about Michael - almost like I am about my own kids. All the kids who have known me over the years know that when I love somebody - I don't do it with half a heart - I do it hook, line and sinker. The fact that people have misconceptions about him makes me want to poke them in the eye. (I know, very Christlike of me.) Has he made some mistakes, heck yeah - haven't we all? The thing that really bugs me is that in Christian community there is no room for anything short of perfection, or at least the appearance of perfection. What the kids are finding that makes me so sad, is that there is no room for mistakes. Once you screw up or do something others find unbecoming, you will never be given a chance to redeem yourself. I have news for them - Christ redeemed us all and they don't get to say whether you, or me, or Michael, or Kendra, or anyone else is in right standing. It is not their assessment of your heart that counts. I am glad that Michael doesn't allow "them" to change who he is because they don't approve of him. The rest - the icky stuff, the growing up, the sin to be overcome - all of that is the Lord's territory. The problem is that all too often God can't clean up the mess, cause other people are trying to do His job for Him. God loves you, Christ died for you, and in the end, what they think doesn't really matter. Find a way to love Christ in spite of what some would-be Christians try to say He is. They have Him all wrong.
11 September 2007
God's Gotta Change Her Heart
Last night we went to a homeschool skate with a different group, although some of our friends from the local group met us there. It was fairly pleasant. I was the first to arrive of our grouping, and found myself the only woman wearing pants in a gathering of pentecostal women. The first alarm bell was when we brought in our Christian music CDs, and were told that this particular group stopped allowing anyone to bring music and now had two CDs that they used, and the owners were not allowed to play anything else for the skate because they had rented the rink for the homeschool skate night. No biggie - it ended up being praise and worship music that could be skated to fairly well, but my kids were a little disappointed.
Kendra brought her punk-haired friend Michael, wearing a t-shirt that said "Disturbed" and jeans with holes throughout. There were a couple of boys who I know are raised in very conservative, pentecostal homes who treated him just like he was one of the guys - and that was so cool.
There was another girl that came in wearing tight black biking shorts and a tank top. I noticed only because she stood out in the flurry of long skirts and uncut hair. Although quite tall, she was one of the last ones left when they did the limbo.
At some point in the evening, a lady who had coordinated the homeschool skate walked over and introduced herself to us. She said she was glad we had come, and then commented that they noticed a few "visitors" were inappropriately dressed, and that they would have to figure out something to do about that. WHAT does she think they are going to do about what other people wear? I have been furiously angry since I got home last night over this - and a line from a song on the new Casting Crowns CD keeps running through my head "God's gotta change her heart before he changes her shirt." To paint the picture in words, the young woman didn't have any of her body exposed - she was just wearing form fitting athletic clothing for skating. I passed her as we walked out and stopped to look her in the eye and congratulate her for her longstanding in the limbo game, and she was beautiful. Maybe she just doesn't know it yet. Maybe she doesn't realize that she is priceless in the sight of a Father who loved her and cares about her and has immeasurable value - that the appearance of her body doesn't even play into.
I am sick to death of this brand of Country Club Christianity. People like that need to get an island.
Post note: I was thinking about this in the shower this morning, and remembered something I was telling my kids last night. There are some kids they have met who behave as if they are "better than" Christians, judging others for listening to certain music or reading certain books or seeing certain movies - and they have had a hard time with it. We talked about the danger of having a bias against someone who has a bias against you being equally wrong. My rant was put in check remembering what I told them - which doesn't change that the issue is wrong, but helps me keep my attitude in check. Maybe I'll send a care package to the island.
Kendra brought her punk-haired friend Michael, wearing a t-shirt that said "Disturbed" and jeans with holes throughout. There were a couple of boys who I know are raised in very conservative, pentecostal homes who treated him just like he was one of the guys - and that was so cool.
There was another girl that came in wearing tight black biking shorts and a tank top. I noticed only because she stood out in the flurry of long skirts and uncut hair. Although quite tall, she was one of the last ones left when they did the limbo.
At some point in the evening, a lady who had coordinated the homeschool skate walked over and introduced herself to us. She said she was glad we had come, and then commented that they noticed a few "visitors" were inappropriately dressed, and that they would have to figure out something to do about that. WHAT does she think they are going to do about what other people wear? I have been furiously angry since I got home last night over this - and a line from a song on the new Casting Crowns CD keeps running through my head "God's gotta change her heart before he changes her shirt." To paint the picture in words, the young woman didn't have any of her body exposed - she was just wearing form fitting athletic clothing for skating. I passed her as we walked out and stopped to look her in the eye and congratulate her for her longstanding in the limbo game, and she was beautiful. Maybe she just doesn't know it yet. Maybe she doesn't realize that she is priceless in the sight of a Father who loved her and cares about her and has immeasurable value - that the appearance of her body doesn't even play into.
I am sick to death of this brand of Country Club Christianity. People like that need to get an island.
Post note: I was thinking about this in the shower this morning, and remembered something I was telling my kids last night. There are some kids they have met who behave as if they are "better than" Christians, judging others for listening to certain music or reading certain books or seeing certain movies - and they have had a hard time with it. We talked about the danger of having a bias against someone who has a bias against you being equally wrong. My rant was put in check remembering what I told them - which doesn't change that the issue is wrong, but helps me keep my attitude in check. Maybe I'll send a care package to the island.
15 February 2007
There But for the Grace of God Go I
The newest issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine arrived last week. As usual, it is a blessing to me - a source of encouragement, and a vast array of some serious resources for any style of homeschooler. But there was one article by Jenefer Igarashi that was so real, I just had to blog about it. I am not going to quote her article, entitled The Unlovables: My Reluctant Testimony, so be sure to grab the winter issue and read it for yourself. But her article provoked my thoughts - which I will share here:
I found myself in a similar situation - pregnant and unmarried. My husband and I had been living together for 3 years, but had never taken a commitment very seriously. I was not a Christian, and although I knew who God was, I lived my life separated from Him. During my pregnancy, I started to feel that something was missing - that something being God - and I turned to the only place I knew at the time I might find Him - the church. My experience was not what Jen described - the loving support from believers - but more a judgmental glance, an indignant comment, and a circle being drawn leaving me on the outside. Baby showers were hosted for the "married" pregnant women in the church - and I remained invisible. I know that some of my experience was due in large part to my overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame, and even so, there were specific things said and done that made me feel that not only could the church not love me, but God could not possibly love me.
It took a long time before I was able to see past "the church" and allow God to speak to my heart about what He has to say about my sin. When I gave my life to Him, there was no more condemnation. And yet a few years ago in Sunday school, somebody inadvertently put the shame right back in my lap. This particular couple would come to our church with their "anti-abortion" stickers blazing on the rear bumper of their car, and their legalistic judgmental condemnation (the very thing that drives young women into the back alley entrances of abortion clinics) on their faces. During prayer request time, this man was asking for prayer for his niece who had recently given birth "out of wedlock", and blah blah blah, but they didn't want her to think that they condoned what she had done, yadda yadda yadda. I sat for a while as he rambled on feeling the shrinking, diminishing feeling of shame. When I finally found my voice, I was able to share that I too had a child "out of wedlock". I also was able to encourage that man to live out his convictions, and support his niece as she attempted to raise this child on her own - buying diapers, and baby food, and whatever else she may need. (The less Christlike sentiment in my head at the time was "Quit buying bumper stickers and put your money here your mouth is!" I might have also thought "freak" and then sure and sudden conviction and repentance!)
Sin is sin - and as believers we have to call it what God calls it. There is no doubt that sex outside of marriage is sin. Aren't we to help those up who stumble? Why do we look at that particular sin as if it is so heinous - and yet gloss over our own materialism, gluttony, gossip, etc. as if they are nothing. In God's sight all sin is equal.
I think that in the Christian community we need a constant reminder - there but for the grace of God go I! I've been there - I've done that - I have the t-shirt - with a big scarlet letter branded that has since been washed white with the scarlet blood of Jesus!
I found myself in a similar situation - pregnant and unmarried. My husband and I had been living together for 3 years, but had never taken a commitment very seriously. I was not a Christian, and although I knew who God was, I lived my life separated from Him. During my pregnancy, I started to feel that something was missing - that something being God - and I turned to the only place I knew at the time I might find Him - the church. My experience was not what Jen described - the loving support from believers - but more a judgmental glance, an indignant comment, and a circle being drawn leaving me on the outside. Baby showers were hosted for the "married" pregnant women in the church - and I remained invisible. I know that some of my experience was due in large part to my overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame, and even so, there were specific things said and done that made me feel that not only could the church not love me, but God could not possibly love me.
It took a long time before I was able to see past "the church" and allow God to speak to my heart about what He has to say about my sin. When I gave my life to Him, there was no more condemnation. And yet a few years ago in Sunday school, somebody inadvertently put the shame right back in my lap. This particular couple would come to our church with their "anti-abortion" stickers blazing on the rear bumper of their car, and their legalistic judgmental condemnation (the very thing that drives young women into the back alley entrances of abortion clinics) on their faces. During prayer request time, this man was asking for prayer for his niece who had recently given birth "out of wedlock", and blah blah blah, but they didn't want her to think that they condoned what she had done, yadda yadda yadda. I sat for a while as he rambled on feeling the shrinking, diminishing feeling of shame. When I finally found my voice, I was able to share that I too had a child "out of wedlock". I also was able to encourage that man to live out his convictions, and support his niece as she attempted to raise this child on her own - buying diapers, and baby food, and whatever else she may need. (The less Christlike sentiment in my head at the time was "Quit buying bumper stickers and put your money here your mouth is!" I might have also thought "freak" and then sure and sudden conviction and repentance!)
Sin is sin - and as believers we have to call it what God calls it. There is no doubt that sex outside of marriage is sin. Aren't we to help those up who stumble? Why do we look at that particular sin as if it is so heinous - and yet gloss over our own materialism, gluttony, gossip, etc. as if they are nothing. In God's sight all sin is equal.
I think that in the Christian community we need a constant reminder - there but for the grace of God go I! I've been there - I've done that - I have the t-shirt - with a big scarlet letter branded that has since been washed white with the scarlet blood of Jesus!
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