An Update

I haven't blogged in so long that I don't know where to start. I miss my blog and the discipline of daily writing, but it got a little weird for a while. I am such an open person that it was hard for me not to emote all over the place. I see value in the ability to be open and real for the sake of others who may stumble upon my writing and find that they aren't crazy - that this is how it feels to let your heart break, to move forward into the unknown - but I needed to take a break.

The truth of my situation as I see it now is that everything I feared would happen has indeed happened. All of the worst possible scenarios played out. I have had to leave the kids for longer periods of time that I ever wanted, expect more of them that I ever hoped to, and have faced some of the hardest truths about myself and my life. I would love to say that it's all come up roses, but it's still hard.

The most recent stress of our situation is my landlord that said I could live in the house for a year has decided t put it on the market after only 7 months. It may take 5 more months to sell it, but nonetheless it looks like we'll be moving again. I am ready to move on. This shared house thing is really for the birds. I do not like moving, but see this as a stepping stone to a better life.

There are some huge bright spots. I have a job I love helping homeschool families in need. It has been amazing and a great "reality check" to remind me that lots of people are in very difficult situations, many severely worse than my own. I have friends that love me - we hang out and play cards, watch movies, hike the Appalachian Trail and all sorts of things. They bring me groceries, listen to me whine and pray for me. I am truly blessed in this. Truly.

This weekend I am going with four women from my family to New York City for the weekend!!! I am so excited. I have always wanted to go. I have felt a little guilt over going and not taking the kids but I know I really need the break. I love my kids - they are excited for me. How cool is that? I'm hoping to bring back a more sane, relaxed mom for them.

Hope all of my friends out there in bloggy-land are doing well. I haven't read blogs in years. I hope to resume that part of my life one day in the very near future.