A Purse of Definition

I have never quite had a style. I grew up being told how to wear my hair - having haircuts, and perms forced on me even in my teen years, including a huge blowup with my mother about how I wore my hair to the prom. I ran away from home and went to live with an aunt and uncle when I was 16 (for a short while), and left the house with only the clothes on my back. When my aunt took me clothes shopping, I nearly had a breakdown in the store because I didn't know what kind of clothes I even liked. That was a pretty profound moment in my life - the realization that I never fully developed as an individual in many ways. Even now when I hear people describe me - knowing it is me that they're talking about, I often don't recognize myself. I was taught not to think for myself, need anything, disagree, etc.
Okay - before you think this is about to end in intense self-psychoanalysis, it really is about a purse. I just had to give you my back story, summed up to say - I don't know what my "style" is. I do know some simple things: I love to be barefoot and loathe shoes. I prefer natural fibers. I prefer earth-tones, or at least colors found in nature. I abhor bright, floraly prints. I love things from India strangely.
I have been in the market for a purse for a couple of months, since I broke the zipper on the purse I've been using for over a year. I didn't want just a regular purse - I wanted one with a "messenger bag" style that would allow me to throw in a book, notebook, planner, and maybe even my laptop on occasion. I hadn't had much luck when I looked around - even online. Yesterday I went into World Market (I love that place!), and was immediately drawn to this bag that was everything that I wanted. I was a bit concerned about the gold threaded design on the outer fabric, but it has grown on me. It holds everything I could want it to and then some. I just love it. One of the best things was that it was HALF OFF!
I think it would be considered Bohemian - I'm not sure if I would consider that my style - but I love it!

A Wee Confession

If somebody is handing out the bad mommy award, I earned it today. Slap it right down here and leave it for a while. I made a complete and total spectacle of myself in front of my children. I won't make excuses. I won't say how very very much I HATE the mall (yet another thing I have in common with my new dear friend, fatty), but I will suffice to say that it was an exhausting day. I think that perhaps there is something testosterone driven about shopping that I don't have - as what we did today bore a keen resemblance to hunting. We walked back and forth across the mall several times , and I was wearing sandals that were rubbing some painful spots on my feet, as the girls tried on the same dresses for the ump-teenth time. I was trying so hard to be patient, when finally, one of them made a decision. The dress was purchased and we finally went to get Chinese for lunch. It was upon returning to the mall to resume the hunt for the indecisive sister that it happened. The fit. I threw one and threw it badly. Not out loud in the mall, but when we went to the car to look for the purse that the daughter that conquered her dress (I'll never tell who is who) noticed she no longer had, I screamed in utter frustration. I feel so badly about it now - but it is the second major loss of a purse in the last 6 months (between the girls - not the same one), and we have just finally replaced some valuable items that went missing the last time around. We did retrace our steps to the dressing room - and realized it was in the excitement of the procurement of THE "perfect dress" that caused her to completely forget about her purse. Thankfully another customer had found it and returned it to the clerk, who gave it to us. However, not long after the recovery we noticed that while her cell phone was in her purse, her iPod Nano that she got for Christmas was not. I was tired, I was grouchy, I was frustrated and behaved badly. I have apologized to all three of my children who had to listen to me rant. Now it's out - I'm not perfect - in fact hopelessly flawed. Don't you hate it when you make it so obvious?
I will hopefully be able to post some pictures of our shopping trip tomorrow, minus pictures of ranting mama - you'll just have to mentally insert a picture of a PMSing Roseanne. Of course the chosen dresses cannot be revealed until the formal so you'll all just have to wait.