A Partial Picture

This is as much as I can stand to show right now of my hair - it does scare me. I had really dark hair - much like Kullen's when I was a little girl - but it has lightened (rather faded) to a non-color color. Drab. Anyway - I have always had an aversion to blonde hair - for myself I love it on others - because my mom always had some form of it on her hair - and it was always so fake. Anyway, after matching up the color of the roots of my hair, the color ended up being quite dark. I actually think I might grow to like it as it fades and I adjust, but for now everytime I pass a reflective surface I am startled. Try that first thing in the morning when you grab the spoon for your coffee! Bwaaaaah!
Kendra's friend Ellie also cut my hair, and regardless of what becomes of the color, I have a permanent hairdresser! The cut is terrific! She did just what I asked.
I only had to take 743 pictures to find one that didn't make me look like I was on crack!
I can hear my stepmother telling me to put on some lipstick now! ha ha

The Hair

An "after" picture will be posted as soon as I stop freaking out about how dark it is!

Time to Fess Up

This statement always terrifies me - I have a hard time hearing it, and an even harder time saying it. I have a lot of reasons to be completely terrified, in a blood running cold kind of way, because I lived the ups and downs of a childhood with a maniacally-depressed mother.
But I think I am battling some mild depression right now.
I am starting avoidance behaviors - I don't want to answer the phone. I am serious - it has made me shudder in the last few days when it rings. But since I know it is unhealthy, I only allow myself to reject the call for legitimate reasons, like if I'm in the middle of something.
I don't want to do anything. I can't remember the last time I really "did" my hair or put on make-up, although having always had an aversion to body odor, and poor hygiene, I have been bathing, brushing my teeth and combing my hair - but why does it seem to take so much effort?
(this is when, blessing or curse though it may be I am thankful to be working at home)
I have felt like I want to stay in bed, but haven't allowed myself that either.
There are situations and circumstances that I know have contributed to this bump in the road. I just thought it might help someone else if I share where I am.
My daughter wants to go to the mall today - and sadly since we do not reside in the happy plastic euphoria of credit card debt, there will be no retail therapy. But, I think hanging out with my girl might do me some good.
Ugh, I gotta go do my hair. (I only do it for the rest of the world that has to look at me!)

Hairy Subject

I have been letting my hair grow for a while now. Basically what that means is I have a lot of hair and I don't really know what to do with it much of the time. About week ago I decided that I wasn't 16 (major revelation) and that I did not have the right kind of face to wear my hair without bangs. So, I snipped them, and have been ever so happy that I did. I also realized that I hate my hair permed. In the east Texas humidity what it means is that I have long strands of fuzz going down my back. Thanks to some terrific hair products, I can blow dry and smooth my hair out and I almost have the hair I like - although admittedly much of the time at home it is in one of those clips the size of the jaws of life or a ponytail. I am not sure that the long hair would be do-able in Texas with the heat we have here. We already had the AC on in the car yesterday and you can smell the ocean! For better or worse here is a picture -my kids hate it cause I'm not smiling, but I was trying to take it of myself - ergo the remote!
I just want to say that I took these pictures yesterday morning, so I am not snagging Kate's hair posting idea! ha ha Her haircut is so awesome!

The Day Everybody Cried

Yesterday was one of those kind of emotional days. All three of my kids at one point were crying. The tears weren't the simple "I fell down and boo booed my knee" kinds of things, they were life-traumas - things that touched the heart.
Kendra was overwhelmed at a situation where she tried to do the right thing and apologize for something she did that was wrong - but was not forgiven. She cares about somebody who has been pulled between two worlds, and is believing a lie. She has had to remove herself from that person for a time, even though it is painful. To top everything off, her friend who was coming to visit her in December now can't come until January - which just made her feel more homesick and alone.
After years of not having her hair cut - and growing it very long Kaitlyn told me about a week ago that she wanted bangs. We have discussed little else over the last week. She has asked me 3,593,264,698 times if she should do it. My friend Tina predicted she would not like it - at least for the first few days, and she was right. Kaitlyn went right to the bathroom and started to cry. When I saw her come out with her hair wadded up in a rubber band, and red, puffy eyes, I knew something was amiss. She loves the bangs, but says the lady took a little too much off of her length - and she "worked so hard" to grow it. (I know what she meant - but we can't actually work to grow our hair now can we?)
On the way home from running errands yesterday, Kullen was very disturbed to find a dog that looked just like our black lab, Jett on the side of the road. He knew it wasn't Jett, but when he started to think about it - the waterworks came on.
Oh brother - it was one of those days. Everybody needed a little extra love.

Try This on For Size

Ya know, next time I get my hair done, I'm gonna get straight up out of bed and never touch my hair before going. WHY? Because they don't even take a teeny gander at what my hair is generally styled like anyway!
Then, I'm gonna sit my butt right down in their little lifty chair and say, "Hey, I wanna treat you right. Why don't you just do whatever you want with my hair? Heck, why don't you just do what is easiest. I don't want to put you out."
Then I'm going to lean back and close my eyes and sleep through the rest. The outcome HAS to be better than when I take my time to tell them how I would like it.
I got my highlights done yesterday. I said "NO gold." When I got home to my own bathroom, and lifted my hair to a ponytail, what did I see underneath? G-O-L-D. Ugh! I've seen less brass in a marching band!
I said I hate for my hair to be flat. I left with hair plastered to my head. I am a child of the 80s. Could she not feel my shame??
I said I like my ends to curl (actually curve, bend, not really c-u-r-l) under, but what I left with was stick straight hair. I mean S-T-I-C-K S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.
I am a fat woman with a large head. Picture a big fat head with a double chin and uncooked spaghetti noodles sticking out all over. THIS is what I looked like when I was done. Some of the noodles were in the shade of bling bling GOLD.
Okay, perhaps I'm being a little melodramatic, but it is so irritating to spend so much money to have someone do whatever they want. Is it possible to find a hairdresser that actually listens to what her clients want??? What is so hard about that?
(And the racial comment the woman made - well, let's not even go there - it wasn't pretty.)